Well, it's official - 1 year has passed

[MissingDaniel]

I just wanted to post quickly and thank the online friends I've made on this forum for their support over this very difficult year.  This Saturday marked the 1 year anniversary of the day I lost my sweet husband.  I took off of work last Thursday and Friday and took our children to St. Augustine because I just couldn't imagine being at home just like a regular Saturday on that day.  I felt like we needed to do something special, maybe start a tradition.  We spent a couple of days there, sightseeing, going to the beach, and just enjoying being a family - albeit a new family that is missing an essential part.  And Saturday morning we did a balloon release on the pier.  We all agreed that we felt better than any of us expected we could.  My 12-year-old brought up something about her daddy, and I smiled and commented on it.  She stopped and looked at me and said, "Mom, it's so nice that I can talk about daddy and you don't instantly start crying.  I want to be able to talk about him."  And that made me happy.  So I've determined that I am going to try to keep that up so she can feel free to talk about him when she wants to.

 

I won't say that we didn't all shed some tears, and that I haven't shed many more since Saturday, but I have to say that we've all come a long way during this year.  Farther than I could have dreamed when we first lost him.  But I want to acknowledge how much help this forum has been to me.  Many people here have been there to listen and comment and comfort when I needed it.  So thank you.  I hope we can continue to help each other, and to help the new friends that have the unfortunate circumstances that bring them here.  This has been quite a journey, and I guess every day that journey will continue.

[HeyJude]

I am so glad that Saturday wasn't as horrible as you anticipated.  My husband died on my mother's birthday so I made the day all about her rather than the "day Jerry died".  Isn't it amazing to look back and see how far we've come?  Who would have thought, huh?

 

I think the biggest way I can sum up my feelings lately is I am very happy to remember memories and talk about Jerry.  Although I don't feel like I'm home.  I know that sounds weird but without him here it just feels like I'm not at home, that uneasy feeling, yanno?

 

We're gonna get there one way or another!! I'm so glad you were able to do something special with your kids.

[staragenda]

My Hubby was gone one year,  May 15th.   I requested the Day off and My employer denied my request.   I took it off anyway.    If I don't take care of me,  they won't care.    I  didn't do anything earthshaking - just went to a DAR Meeting and a Play that night.   I just couldn't let the anniversary of his death be just another day.    I miss him still and always will.

[doctor8834]

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[MissingDaniel]

Staragenda, good for you!  How thoughtless of your employer to deny the request, though.  Whoever did so can't possibly understand what a tremendous loss you truly suffered, and how significant that one year anniverasary can feel.  I hope that you don't suffer any repercussions from taking the day.  I am sorry you are dealing with this loss, but I'm glad you found a way to get through the day.  My thoughts are with you!

 

Andrea

[needy]

Big hugs to you MissingDaniel.  I love that you had a plan and that it all worked out.  

[MissingDaniel]

Thanks, Needy.  Hope you are doing well.  Haven't seen you here for a while.  Sending good thoughts your way

[lonesomemike]

My wife has been gone 1 year as of May 6th 2014. I told my employer that I was taking off and I didn't care what they thought. I will probably never ever work that day  again. On May the 8th 2014 1 year from the day of her funeral her headstone was put down. It took alot of time but had no money for it. Had to make monthly payments on her funeral.