Members tinaw29 Posted April 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 I lost my mom and dad 20 years ago. Wednesday 4-9 will make 20 years. I was 9 at the time. My dad killed my mom and he will spend the rest of his life in prison. Why is it still so hard for me? Why do I feel like it was just yesterday. It seems to only be getting harder to deal with. I just break down crying all the time. how do I deal with this? He ruined my life. And he is still controlling my life because I can't let go. he will not admit to doing it. he says he can't admit to something he doesn't remember happening. I just want closure but he won't give it to me. he goes up for parole on 4-16. as crazy as it sounds I kinda want him out. I just want my family back. I can't sleep. I'm yelling at my kids over stupid stuff. I just want to move on with my life, but I can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sarah1681 Posted April 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 8, 2014 have u tried counseling? that is the only thing helping me deal with my moms sudden death im sorry that your dad killed your mom also try writing in a journal im sorry i couldnt be more help im praying for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted April 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 Hi Tinaw, I´m really sorry for your losses and such in a tragic way I don´t have a story like yours, but I am familiar with a similar event... 12 years ago, the father of one of my best friends also killed his mom, it was a horrible period of our lives, we were 18 and he discovered his mom shot on the living room couch waiting for him and his sister I can´t really tell you how he´s been dealing with it, cuz he does not speak much about how he feels, he just mentions the subject while comparing or remembering something. I can tell you that he has an explosive behaviour and sometimes all of the sudden, gets angry and goes way for no apparent reason His dad has only been arrested for 8 years, 2 of which were the time waiting for the trial. He and his sister don´t talk to him and he even changed his name so he could remove the last one from his father. His father can not get close to their house and has been paying them for the damage done to their lives... I told him quite a few times to seek professional help, but he never wanted to, he just smokes joints and gets his peace this way. I think you need to find the closure you said you need and knowing that he won´t admit it, does not help you. In these cases a therapist might be helpful, it can help you deal with what you lost forever and the closure you seem to need. The fact that you know he´s trying to get out, might also be messing with your mind even more. You should not be too hard on yourself, you had both your parents taken away from you at such a young age, you probably grieve for the childhood you never had and the family you never had. I can´t imagine how it must be for you and once again, I´m really sorry. If you need anything, feel free to text me. A big hug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tinaw29 Posted April 9, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 Thank you both so much. You both are right. I do need to see a counselor. I think maybe I thought I had dealt with it all these years, but I honestly hadn't. This is my first time sitting at home all the time so I am having more time to think. I was taught when I was little to tell myself now is not the time to think about it so that's what I had done all these years. It definitely wasn't a good thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tinaw29 Posted April 9, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted April 9, 2014 I am also very sorry for your loss as well. I will also be praying for you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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