Long term grief after long term terminal cancer...

[Frankieginge]

Has anyone else / is anyone else still suffering the grief after effects 6 months+ after losing a very close loved one to terminal cancer, and u thought you should have dealt with it by now, but you feel like you are only just starting to go through the "official grief process steps"? I think I started to grieve even before my dad died! I felt so bad for this, but I was only trying to prepare myself for what I knew was to come.

This was my first loss of a close family member. And it's quite funny (?) by I always knew I would lose my dad early as he was very old compared to normal (I was 7 at his fantastic 50th birthday party!) so I knew it was possible he would never meet my children. Sad, but a realised prospect. That is until it is a reality.

I guess I should explain the situation. We have actually been very lucky. He passed away last September ( 8 days after his birthday....which he was adamant he would spend at home! (After a very worry

[Heartlight]

If you would like to finish your post, I would like to hear the rest of your story.

 

I suffer pre-grief almost daily.  I don't have guilt over it but I did look it up when it started to happen to me years ago.  Maybe it will help you to know that it is natural.

 

And in relation to your other question, I don't expect that I will ever be finished grieving.  I have come back from the pit of despair, but my love for the people I lost will always be there, and they will always not, so my grief will continue as my life continues.  I do expect it will change and be modified by time and other losses and my own happenings in life but I actually never expect that I will ever be like I once was.  These losses change us.  And, if we're really lucky, we can find some place of living in legacy, feeling our loved ones unconditional support of us.

 

It is definitely a process so please allow the learning to come as you go through it.

 

<3