a week today my mom has been gone

[sarah1681]

no matter how many people i have lost in my 33 years this has been the hardest i still cant believe shes gone she was only 53 years old she was too young to leave me and my brothers. i dont know how to start healing and just functioning on a daily basis all i want to do is stay in the bed and sleep everyone keeps telling me it will get easier but i just dont see how i am going to her house tomorrow to go through her stuff which im sure is going to be hard having to put my hands on HER stuff she should still be here we shouldnt be having to go through her things it isnt fair im so angry,sad,confused all rolled into one im trying to go on with daily life but i find myself crying over little things i miss her voice i miss her smile i miss everything about her she wasnt sick as far as we knew it was so sudden she was getting ready for work and just fell over dead my 19 year old brother found her and tried to do cpr but it was already to late she was already cold ;(

[MissuDad]

Hi Sarah,

 

Really sorry for your loss

 

3 weeks in the grieving process is like a second in real time, you´re still trying to digest the loss, so all those feelings are normal. It gets easier to live with it as time goes by, but there´s always pain.

 

You should only go through her stuff if you feel ready to, but if you really need to do it, somehow you´ll get the strength to do it. I went through my dad´s clothes like 2/3 weeks after too and completely alone on deciding what do with it... I just got some big plastic bags and took all of his clothes and gave them away, his personal belongings just a few weeks later and that was hard... Things like his glasses, cell phone, pictures, poems he had written, seing all that really brought the raw pain and the hopeless feeling, each and single piece had a memory attached and reminiscing on those was very hard, but somehow I made it and so will you.

 

A big hug

[Bonitaellada]

Sorry for your loss

I have exactly the same feelings. I lost my mom 4 weeks ago suddenly. Didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I miss her terribly. I'm depressed, angry, sad. I cry ever single day. People tell me stay strong. I don't know how. I am NOT strong. I didn't go through her stuff yet. I have to do it soon. I keep postponing it. I don't know how I am going to do it.

I am glad that I found this forum. Most people around don't understand what I am going through. They never lost a parent.

I know that stay strong sounds like a cliche but we have to stay strong.

[cindyjane]

I am so sorry for your losses.  I can relate to the deep sadness that comes with losing a parent.  Although it's

been almost 7 months since my mom was taken "home" I still miss her today as much as I did the day she

passed on.  The difference is that today the sad feelings are quickly followed by feelings of gratefulness for

having her for my mom.  I've been blessed for sure.  As these months pass I try to honour her by being the

kind of person that she was.  That is a tall order because she was a wonderful person but I am going to try

hard.  Another thing that is getting me through this great loss is my faith.  I do believe that one day we will all

be reunited with our loved ones.  Until then, I will try my best to honour her memory in being the best person

that I can be. 

 

It was difficult to go through my mom's belongings and I am grateful that my dad, sister, brother and I did that

together.  In doing this we really got to know my mom.  She kept things from when we were kids.  Home-made

cards, birthday/Christmas gifts that we gave her in our childhood years (little trinkets, etc).  I didn't realize how

much those things meant to her.  As hard as it was to go through her things, it also brought joy in seeing the

things that she hung on to for all of those years.  I guess you could say that it was a part of the healing process

for me.  I wish you all well and keep the faith because that is where the real comfort comes from.