If I'm feeling normal?

[Frazzled]

I lost my son about 10 & 1/2 months ago. Lost? Hmmm sounds like I just miss placed him? He passed away . SIDS. He was 61/2 months old. A beautiful blonde hAired blue eyed chubby baby. I'm confused, lost, I feel like I do the bare minimal for my other 2 kids. Because I'm scared, I try to not think about him because it gets me angry, I'm always angry now. The slightest thing sets me off. And all I see is the horrible things in life. The only good things I see are my other 2 kids but then I panick about what life will bring them. Is this normal?? I'm stuck I feel like nothing good with come our way, and if it does I will push it away. Is this normal? Or am I crazy??

[shorty16]

Yes, this is normal

My Brian died 5.5 years ago.

At 10 months, I was still denying he was dead, because I could not live without him.

Be kind to yourself. I tried to " turn the channel in my brain" to something else. In the beginning that is really hard, but with practice, it allows you to move on.

I do not know your faith, but I prayed to have my anger taken from me. I was very angry at the driver of the car that killed Brian. It took a long time, but has given me peace.

Please remember, every moment is a potential memory for your surviving children. You decide if this will be a good memory or a bad/ sad memory.

You are at a tough time. Be kind to yourself and your kids. The extreme pain will pass. With time.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever