This thing called Time

[frankly]

Time....... This word has become the most foul, dirtiest four letter word in the book for me.  Yet it is the measure of life.  It is also the measure of loss.

 

I visit time constantly.  The time Jerry and I............ , the time we had together, waiting for time to pass so it will help ease the pain.

 

Time is such a cruel thing.  It slows down to an excruciating crawl when bad things are happening, yet speeds up like lightning when good things are happening.  It passes in the blink of an eye, 10, 20, 30, 40 years...... poof....... gone.  Yet a single day can feel like a life time.

 

It never stops.  Not for anyone.  If you stumble and fall, time just passes you right on by.  It doesn't pause to help pick you up.  

 

We never have enough time, or we have too much time.  If you manage to find time, it passes to quickly.

 

So in this hell called grief, time is both friend and enemy.  Time evidently is the only thing that can help ease the pain. But it just slows to a crawl.  Almost as if to inflict the maximum amount of pain possible.

 

Time eventually runs out for everyone.  You can't hold onto it.  You can't wish it away.  When you want it to go fast, it goes slow.  When you want it to slow down, it speeds up.

 

Time gifts you so many wonderful things, then steals them away.

 

I've grown to hate time, as I beg for it to pass quickly, and it slows down to a virtual crawl.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Time....... This word has become the most foul, dirtiest four letter word in the book for me. Yet it is the measure of life. It is also the measure of loss.

 

 

...so very true....everything you wrote is so true of the journey of grief, it is desperate at times, our souls are tied what was, what we wish for and dream about is no longer our life...

[odetoanoddity]

Time waits for no one. Your post is spot on, I couldn't agree more. I find myself revisiting the past often, looking at certain dates and thinking ... "Oh, Michael was still alive back then" or "this time last year ..." It just seems to continue with no regard of how I'm still trying to understand what happened. My days pass by so quickly, I've become so insular, within myself, asking the same questions and coming up with the same answers, but where is the truth to any of it, when the one person that could possibly clarify everything for me is gone.

To others, this may sound like a morbid/ bleak way to look at things, but there's a thought in my head that has been a comfort to me. I think that the further Michael and I become physically, with the days passing on, the *closer* we are to reuniting with each other, as each day I am closer to dying and seeing him again on the other side. I don't know what people on here will think about that, as it is a matter of perspective, but I don't know, it's been a comfort for me in this darkness.

However, in spite of that, I don't like time either. I also don't like change and I'm constantly craving for my old life which was comfortable as the only certainty I had was that I had a man that loved me, who was supportive and my pillar of strength. Now everything is up in the air, and I'm facing a blank horizon that can be thrilling, but a lot more threatening, overwhelming me because I'm still in the past.