Members Tryingtohavehope Posted February 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 Today has been a horrible day...I just don't want to keep going! He was the only one who could calm me down...especially when my mom starts in on me! I lost it she just doesn't understand! I don't want to get out of bed, I have no one to talk to, no one to go out and have fun with. I'm just one big ball of emotions right now and I have no idea why I'm here but he can't be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Kirbibizzle Posted February 23, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 My dearest Tryingtohavehope, You have just put into words how I am feeling at this exact moment. I don't always feel this way, yesterday I was relatively fine during our chat, but I feel bad right now. I feel so alone, even when I am not alone. I do not see the point in much anymore. It's just not the same without him. No matter where I go, no matter what I do. It can never be the same again. My dad has died.. and for what reason? What reason could someone have to die with so much life left to live? Why do I get to keep on living and he doesn't? It's not fair to him. I want my dad. He's the only one who knows just what to say. My mom keeps starting on me, too. She just doesn't understand, I am not a complete person anymore without him. I can never be whole again. I told her "this is how I am now" because I'm going to be permanently depressed from now on, so she has to either live with it... or give up trying to help me. I need something to put me back together but I am finding it so hard to find that certain something. We have to figure this out, Tryingtohavehope... and soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tryingtohavehope Posted February 23, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 Some days I think okay he wants me to be happy...Ive got this I can do this...but then it slaps me in the face that he's the ONLY one that made me happy so how can I be happy when he's not here? I hate it the weekends are so hard for me because I just sit here with nothing to do and no one to talk to! I pretty much sat here on the weekends when he was alive too but I had him to text or call and keep my busy and calm! I know it's "normal" to be feeling this way but my point is I shouldn't have to be going through this! It's not fair...I live my life the way God wants me to (for my religion) and I get crapped on! Get rid of the pedaphiles and keep the people that are actually worth keeping! (not trying to offend anyone just how I feel) He had so many dreams, so much life to live, he had a purpose! I have no more dreams, I have no life to live, and I no longer have a purpose so why not me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members erip Posted February 24, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Tryingtohavehope:I feel you and in I way I understand you, I lost my boyfriend too and was so happy with him.Same thoughts as you about bad people in the world and he was a great person why isnt he living anymore.The world is not fair, things happen and this is horrible but i guess we need to keep on living (i dont know how i am telling you this because I want to die and be with my love one) but i have felt the need to tell you this. We don´t know each other but we can talk about how we feel and be a support. I dont know how are we going to make it but lets try... I send you a big hug. Eri Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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