Pain

[Ronnie jean]

My pain does not go , and I have try so hard , he was my friend my lover and my husband and my carer it's a year now , my husband left me , just went no warning it should have been me , every day I have a moment of crying but this pain is to much , this last few weeks I like to join him and my sister , how do you keep on for your children but put up with this hopeless life and emptiness I have in side me, , am scared because this feeling is getting stronger , god will not forgive me , who am l .

[Guest Kirbibizzle]

Dear Ronnie jean,

 

Your pain is always going to be there, but it will fade. Not completely, but enough that it won't be a daily battle just to put up with your life. I know that, and want to believe it even though I might not feel that way right now. I too feel so empty without my father in my life, but this emptiness cannot dictate the rest of our lives.

 

God forgives you and He is not punishing you by taking away your husband, despite it seeming like that is exactly the reason He took him. I thought that too when my dad was taken from me. The truth is: there is no reason for why our loved ones are taken before they should be. It just happens, people unfortunately die... and it sucks.

 

Your entire identity was shaped by being your husband's wife. Mine was by being my father's son. We are still those same people, we just now traverse a different path. We must find out way, we can't give up on ourselves after coming this far.

 

Don't give up. We are here for you.

[Brenjan]

Dear Ronnie Jean, I am sorry for your pain. I to know what you feel like. I lost my husband January 9. He was not doing well but I never dreamt he would die. It is hard to keep going. My mom, dad, sister and two brothers have also passed. I have a niece and nephew and friends but have days that I wish I could join all the people I love, but I know that I must complete my journey and only God can decide when it is my time. Keep on going and know that you are not alone, we all can relate to the grief you are feeling.

[lkb1963]

I lost my husband & dog on July 4th (and most of house and possessions) in an early morning fire.  I was in a coma for over 2 weeks. With a lot of people's prayer's -- I pulled through.  While things were tough - I was sort of still dazed.  I had to go back to work/deal with insurance/temp housing, taxes (& learning how to pay off debt -- I was unaware of).  Plus I have major  work deadlines.  My birthday was feb 28 and anniversary on feb 29 (March 1st is the virtual anniversary).  The insurance runs out, house is barely started, and deadlines.
I feel guilty for being upset & angry at myself.  I was unable to save my husband or dog. I tried -- but couldn't and just ran out of the house and asked for help at 3:00 am.
I hit a major set back last weekend -- so I know how you feel.
I prayed to wake up and promised God that I would be better person.  Now I feel even more guilty.
Hang in there and know you are not alone.  God must want you around for a little longer.  I am in an isolated situation -- and don't have children.  I am sure that your children would share in your grief.  Reach out.  I am trying to find support groups.  Maybe there are some other people that have your pain as well.I know I feel pain and would really like to not deal with anything.  It took me 6 months to get into to see a therapist.  I will tell you if it helps.