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Have never truly suffered in my life until I lost my father


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When I was a child my parents were my whole world 

I always wanted to be with them and if I was away from them I would cry 

they were the people I was closest to and I was the baby  

 I love both my parents so much and I always will we became closer and closer and I matured

but then my father passed away a few months ago from an Aortic Aneurysm.

It was October 14th, 2013 and the worst day of my life yet.

I was still 19 at the time, my birthday was November 4 and I turned 20 without him.

He was only going to turn 60 this February. I just don't understand why this had to happen,

in the first months after I thought I was fine, we went through all the funeral arrangements

legal issues and more and I tried to ignore the problems we were having since he didn't have a will. 

I would cry sometimes and most of the time I wouldn't, I had to be strong for my mom it's just me 

and her living in our house together. I thought i was fine but then I started getting tension headaches

and soon after panic attacks and anxiety. Why is this happening now? I was just prescribed Xanax today 

but I don't like to take medications especially if their addicting. All of this is making me so unhappy, I miss having fun

and actually living life without worrying all day but then again I am just happy that I am alive, I guess my fathers death

really made me think about how eventually everyone is going to die one day but it's so scary. I saw it happen,

he was afraid and he was in pain and it is just so sad and i am just so heartbroken and afraid. I know that

God is love and that love kills all fear, so that is why i am trying to accept what happened and when

I do hopefully the anxiety and panic attacks will go away and I will be free from this prison of fear and panic. 

If anyone has any advice on how to overcome anxiety it will be really appreciated thank you 

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Guest Kirbibizzle

Dear ALunaticsLament,


My father passed away exactly 4 weeks ago due to a ruptured brain aneurysm. Believe me when I say I know exactly how you are feeling right now. The man you cared about the most in this world has died so suddenly without even a chance to say all that needed to be said in our goodbyes. Devastating isn't even close to describing how it felt to me to lose my dad. There is no word to describe just how painful this feels.


My dad died at age 62, while I am only 25. We both are so young, and our fathers are too. It's such an injustice to have them taken from this world like this. I've asked myself over and over why this happened to him, but I still have no answer. It just happened, and I don't think there's anything anyone could have done to stop it.


Ever since he passed away, I've searched the internet pretty much nonstop to find out everything there is to know about aneurysms. I've read so many statistics about aneurysms, aortic and cerebral or otherwise. The chance of survival is very low to begin with, and those who manage to survive are left with a lot of disabilities. They are the most horrible thing anyone can ever suffer from, and so many people are walking around with them without even knowing. I wish that our stories weren't this similar, but indeed they are. There has to be a stop to these senseless deaths. There has to be more awareness for aneurysms.


I have had headaches myself, even before this happened to my dad. It sometimes makes me feel that I too may have a brain aneurysm, which makes me feel the anxiety you feel. The pain attacks are common for me too. My mind goes back to when he was lying on the floor and slowly dying and me having no idea what was actually happening to him. I want to block those parts out. I want to replace all of that with the memories we've shared over my entire life. I know our dads would want us to live out our lives to the fullest, even when that seems so hard to do without them around anymore.


I have anxiety when I ask myself "why couldn't I save my dad?" I would give anything to bring him back. Was it my fault? But then, you have to think about this rationally. I know that this was going to happen eventually. It had to. It was inevitable, sad as it is to say, so it makes me feel so thankful that I even got to know my dad at all. His aneurysm could have burst many years ago and all these memories we'd had together would not even exist. We may have never even remembered our dads in the first place had this happened when we were small.


Treasure these memories of your father closely, and please take care of yourself. I hope to hear from you soon.



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First of all, I´m really sorry for your loss, I know how hard it is and everyone here knows what you´re going through.


Anxiety and panic attacks are pretty commom after someone you love passes. Since I was 19 I have dealt with those problems too, so I know how hard it can be, adding that to your loss, it can be overwhelming.


My dad passed away 10 months ago and after 1/2 months I was also getting extreme anxiety, panic attacks and sleeping problems, as I was no stranger to them, I decided to seek help from a therapist to help me cope with everything and avoid the extra burdden...


Xanax is a band aid and it can take some of the pressure off, I know it´s hard, but you could try exercise, yoga, writting about your feelings and talk about them a lot to trusted family or friends. If, even so, you see no improvement then  search for a therapist.


It helps to know you´re not the only one experiencing those symptoms, for the last 5 months and so I could work in the morning, I started taking something similar to xanax, but been gradually cutting the dosage, sleeping still doesn´t come easily, but got better, it´s a very lonely and weird journey, but you´re not alone in it.


A big hug and if you need some additional information, let me know

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My daddy passed away suddenly December 7th 2013 at age 67 the funeral was dec 23 right befor christmasI miss him soo much i can't even describe the pain I feel inside I too am dealing with panic attacks/anxiety I've been to the er 3 times and they said I was having palpitations I don't sleep at night I keep thinking the worst like something will happen to my mom or husband or daughter I just don't understand why.. i can't get over this.. i lost my job due to my anxiety and I also quit college till next semester.. i just want my daddy back it really hurts me to know he's not here any more him and my mom were married 46 years and seeing her without my dad hurts me they were un seperateble she's been staying at my house on and off for the last 2 1/2 month.. i just want to start feeling better my doctor gave me xanax but I don't want to take them all the time.. my doctor also told me to go see a psychologist..

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