Lost my dad by the hands of someone else

[Mrsdd]

I don't really know how I ended up on this site but here goes. .......

My dad was attacked and died just over a week ago. The first thing I want to say is my dad was fantastic, I know most people think that about their dad but he was. I called him my go to guy to a friend the other day because he was there for everything. Our relationship changed 3 years ago when my mam died of cancer after a 6 month battle. I never worried about my dad till I lost my mam. All of a sudden the man who looked after me needed looked after. Not a day went by after mams death that I didn't worry about him. In the past 3 years I would say I spoke to him every day it was really odd if we didn't catch up at some point and we would see each other 4-5 times a week.

So here's the thing I feel numb, as soon as I start to cry I stop. This feels nothing like when I lost my mam. The first thing I noticed was not having to worry about him anymore, I have told the story about my dad's attack, the week he was on life support and the current police case 10 times daily to concerned family and friends with very little emotion. Even my feelings for the lad who killed my dad are very little. I have 2 young children, my youngest only a couple of months and I feel like they are my priority and maybe that's why I am not falling to pieces.

I really just wanted to put my thoughts out there but if anyone has any advice please comment x

[Guest Kirbibizzle]

Dear Mrsdd,

 

I am terribly sorry to hear about your dad, and your mam. Losing a parent is bad enough, but losing them because much earlier than expected because of someone else's recklessness must be incredibly difficult. I truly hope that justice will be served and the lad is help accountable for his actions. Please don't feel like you need to share any details that make you feel uncomfortable. This is a safe place, and we aren't going to judge no matter how little or how much you wish to divulge. 

 

I understand how your dad might have shut down after the loss of your mam. Being that close to one person that you relied on and loved so much can do that to you. I know this first hand from my own feelings when I lost my dad. I am still walking in a daze currently, as I lost my dad just 3 weeks ago. He means everything to me and always will. You are very thoughtful to watch over your dad after such a tragic event, it's really hard to be alone when you are grieving the loss of someone dear to you. I don't think I could handle being alone for longer than a few days at a time.

 

You do not have to worry about your dad anymore. He's being watched over carefully until the day you can be reunited. There's no more suffering, no more pain. Numbness to all of this is an appropriate feeling given the shock of it all. It's still so fresh for both of us. Losing your dad, for me, is a major turning point in anyone's life. Give yourself time to grieve and don't bottle up all your emotions. It's really unhealthy, trust me.

[Blackrock]

Sorry for your loss. You are strong enough to go on and to take care of your kids and your family- I really admired u for that strength. But we all have feelings and don't try to block that out. You have the right to be mad and to cry out loud if that helps. I would certainly seek justice til the end by making sure they paid for what they did. Have sometime to grieve but knowing your dad will always be in your heart and smiling down from heaven.

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