Members Alone Posted February 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 Parts of my adapting and adjusting seem so strange and almost foolish. This morning I was consumed by the thought of falling during or after my shower. It wasn't the idea of the actual fall that bothered me but the idea that someone might find me sprawled naked on the floor. I've never used a bathrobe, but I'm buying one today. Weird....I also find myself texting my son with my movements for the day. After years of always telling my Tom where I would be during our hours apart, it's very disconcerting to have no one know where I am. Weird.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Karen.Lyn Posted February 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 I don't think it sounds weird at all. I've had some concerns of my own. There's really no one who checks in on me. If no one heard from me in a week, they might. I've got a bad knee. What if I had a fall. Am I going to be one of those people you hear about who die and their pets start to eat them because they're starving? I make sure my cat has at least a weeks worth of dry food down all the time. So to quote you "Weird". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 9, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 I need a "how to live alone" book. This is the first time in my life that I've truly lived alone as I had my son at 18. I've spent a lot of time by myself when my husband or I traveled, but I've never really lived alone. It's a very strange experience and I don't have the "conquer the world" confidence that I had during my youth. And I have no where to run to if things get bad. It's just weird.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Kirbibizzle Posted February 9, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Dear Alone, I am feeling the same as you right now. I've lived with my dad for 25 years of my life and he passed away suddenly 2 weeks ago from a ruptured brain aneurysm. I am now all alone and on my own for the first time in my life. I've never had to do anything on my own before, I always relied on my dad for everything. Needless to say it's a pretty daunting task. I mean, sure, I still have my mom but we don't have a very good relationship. Never have, probably never will. I really don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I've basically been browsing the internet all day and night every day to try and take my mind off of all of this loneliness. I have no friends anymore, I lost touch with all of them after graduating from high school. I've never really wanted any friends when I had my dad. He's the only person I've ever needed and wanted in my life. I still feel that way... My dad took care of everything for me in case anything were to happen to him, which I am very thankful for. My uncle died suddenly a few years ago and he most likely had a brain aneurysm too. Now, I am basically in fear that I'll be dying suddenly because brain aneurysms are hereditary. They can rupture anywhere, anytime and there's not much you can to stop it except by watching your blood pressure. Even then, there's no guarantee. So yeah, I'm kind of in a weird mix of freaking out in between the grief, guilt, and loneliness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 9, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Sorry for your loss kirbiboh - living alone is very strange. I'm not afraid to live alone and I have the financial skill sets to take care of paying the bills and such, but its just strange. There are aspects that you expect... kind of the cooking for one type things... but I wasn't ready for the constant thoughts about no one knows where I am or if I'm okay. The only word i can come up with is weird... I just can't explain how much I don't feel like me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members susiek Posted February 9, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Hi everyone, I lost my husband to a brain tumor 9/11/13. I am still in denial. I just can't believe he is gone. He was 65. We were suppose to grow old together. I don't know what happen to my life. I just can't get my mind wrapped around the fact that he is gone. Sometimes I feel like I'm playing house. Washing, cooking and going thru the day. Then night comes and it's awful!!! I can't seem to watch TV, my attention span is short. I wander from room to room. Clean out a drawer, wander to the next room. Sometimes I can be sitting on the couch and before I know it an hour went by and I don't remember how. My normal is gone and I know I have to find a new normal. My two children and grandchildren live near by and I have lots of girlfriends. But after 5 months everyone has gone back to their lives (which is normal) and I'm alone!!! So so hard!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 9, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Susie's - sorry for your loss. My husband was 68 when he died. We too had plans of growing old together. I'm glad you have family close by. I pray they provide you with good support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Kirbibizzle Posted February 9, 2014 Guests Report Share Posted February 9, 2014 Sorry for your loss kirbiboh - living alone is very strange. I'm not afraid to live alone and I have the financial skill sets to take care of paying the bills and such, but its just strange. There are aspects that you expect... kind of the cooking for one type things... but I wasn't ready for the constant thoughts about no one knows where I am or if I'm okay. The only word i can come up with is weird... I just can't explain how much I don't feel like me. Alone, I know what you mean by weird. No one knows where I am, except my mom. I could have an aneurysm just like my father and it could rupture at any moment and I'd most likely die alone on the floor. That's a big fear of mine. I don't feel like me anymore. This house is too big for just one person without my dad here. I just don't know how to try to think positively during all of this. It's never going to be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bosbos Posted February 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Hey....I am not really sure how this chat thing works, I am totally new to it...well...i am from Cairo, Egypt....I am 42, single and curently all alone...my father passed away 9 years ago, I had finally come to accept it somehow, and I lived with my mom ever since, she became my very best friend, we would do literally everything together, travel, eat, go out anything you can ever think of, we did together, and it was really good....she was 78, old but perfect health, never sick a day in her life...so sometime mid May 2013, she went to visit some family and tripped in the elevator and fell face down, when she came home she confirmed that her relatives, all doctors, said she was OK, and like an idiot, I just went a long with it, 2 weeks later she started having some stomach pains, followed by long seleeping, I got worried, though Docs said it was her thyroid gland, it didnt make sense to me, so I took her for some scans, and there we realized that this fall had ruptured her spleen, causing it to make a huge abess, we ran to the hospotal and they operated, they had to remove 7cm from her diafram, and it went down hill from there, she was in ICU for like 10 days, until on Monday July 8th, she told me that she knew that she was going to die, and gave me some of her wishes that she needs to be done after she passes, I thought she was scared, however, she got better and went to a normal room and on Wendesday the 10th, we took her home, at 00:30 of July 12th, I went ot give her the meds, she was gone.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 10, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Bosbos - so sorry for your loss. Do you have a good support system? I hope so as that's what we all need to get us through the grief. Please keep coming back to this site as there are many people here who want to help. FYI - the single best doctor my husband had during his 14 month battle with leukemia was from Cairo. This doctor is an amazing man and told us many wonderful stories about Cairo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bosbos Posted February 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 Hey Alone...Thanks for your great words...I am not sure I have a good support system, I have loads of work, and I have to handle everything that my mom was handling on top it, I have anice sister married with 2 kids, but she is always busy, and do not want to be part of new responisbilities, but it is Ok I gues, I go from day to day...I came accross this site by pure luck, somehow, you feel that noone will understand you better than someone feeling the same kind of loss...It is a great idea and a gret site....So for Cairo, it is a lovely place and a great country, I for one live accoss the pyramids, I love having my coffee in the terrace and watch them...Maybe one day you can come here when we are stable again....You are most welcome to stay with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted February 10, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 I have never been to that part of the world. Thank you for the invitation... maybe you could teach me how to make the soup Dr. Atallah used to tell us about. It's made with some kind of leaf. That was Dr. A's favorite food and he would tell us horror stories about his German wife's attempts at making the soup. Please keep visiting. You'll find that there are people from all over the world visiting this site and helping support one another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted February 10, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2014 To those of us who are completely alone at this point....5Star Urgent Response is a great little thing to have. It is pretty inexpensive in comparison to some of the other alert plans. I got one for my mother who is alone all day and is 85 yrs old. If you are interested check out their website and if you decide to do it let me know...I think we both get $10 off if you give them my account number. http://www.greatcall.com and click on The 5 Star. It really is quite handy and it really works. All you do is push the button and someone comes on the little responder. I think it is something like $14.99 a month which isn't bad for security. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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