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closure/ashes/panic attacks.


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My mum died a year and a half ago. She was 57, and I was 19. I was talking to a friend about scattering her ashes. I said I don't know what happened to them. Our family discussed scattering them but it never happened. I don't even know where they are. The thought of it made me nauseous. I have anxiety/panic attacks/nightmares because of it. Specifically one where she comes back and claims to never have died. But because I got to see her again I have to watch her get sick and die all over again. The panic attacks are getting really intense. Numbness, puking, collapsing on the floor. I'm going to seek out a counsellor this week, I'm on meds, exercise, eat well blah blah blah. Has anyone had closure problems like this? I think I've got to figure out what happened to those ashes, but I'm not ready yet. It makes me feel sick.

Noble Sloth

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