Members sophia12 Posted February 3, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Hello,I am new here. My husband passed last weekend after an unexpected diagnoses of advanced cancer. He had heart and lung problems but they were under control. His back began hurting in November, he ended up needing to go by ambulance to the ER in December and was admitted, and he was told he had advanced cancer and they could not find his primary tumor despite numerous tests. The cancer was in his spine, hip, arm, lung, and possibly pancreas. He became paralyzed and never walked again. He could not move his arms anymore either. He never came home again. He passed away in inpatient Hospice, and they were angels there. Those Hospice nurses and volunteers are very special people and I am grateful for them!I am in shock! I feel numb. And I feel broken. I cried the whole month of December and January but since he died I have only cried twice. The night he died I cried for hours and a few days later I cried again. And that is it. I am so sad but I cannot cry. Is this normal?Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lost&alone Posted February 3, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group that none of us ever wanted to join, I have found it comforting here. It has only been about 1 month since I lost my husband. I didn't really cry the first 2 weeks, I wanted to but I couldn't. I think it may have been shock. Now I do cry, I wish I could cry more sometimes. I cry when people offer their sympathy or when I am talking to one of our children but when I am alone I find the tears are hard to come by. I will start to cry but it never lasts. I hope you find some help on this site. I wish I could offer you more advice, but I am just trying to figure this all out myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted February 3, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2014 Hi Sophia. I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't really cry much the first two weeks my husband died. People kept telling me it would get worse and it did. By one month it was pretty bad. By two months I felt insane because the grief was so sporadic and uncontrollable. At three months it was still pretty extreme some days but perfectly normal other days. I think it is different for all of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sophia12 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group that none of us ever wanted to join, I have found it comforting here. It has only been about 1 month since I lost my husband. I didn't really cry the first 2 weeks, I wanted to but I couldn't. I think it may have been shock. Now I do cry, I wish I could cry more sometimes. I cry when people offer their sympathy or when I am talking to one of our children but when I am alone I find the tears are hard to come by. I will start to cry but it never lasts. I hope you find some help on this site. I wish I could offer you more advice, but I am just trying to figure this all out myself.Thank you! I am so sorry for your loss too. I have been reading through the posts and just knowing I am not losing my mind with my emotions being all over the place has been such a comfort. We will get through this, one day at a time. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sophia12 Posted February 4, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Hi Sophia. I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't really cry much the first two weeks my husband died. People kept telling me it would get worse and it did. By one month it was pretty bad. By two months I felt insane because the grief was so sporadic and uncontrollable. At three months it was still pretty extreme some days but perfectly normal other days.I think it is different for all of us.Hi, Thank you for your reply! I am sorry for your loss too. I had a feeling this was just going to get worse. I will hang on and wait for it and do my best to get through it, thank you for the heads up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lynsie Posted February 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 7, 2014 Welcome Sophia. I am new here and glad I found this sight because my husband died two months ago after the same diagnosis and I thought I must be the only one who felt as I do. One day he was fine, then he felt pain all over and went to the ER where he was diagnosed with stage four cancer and died two months later. I was in shock and never knew the real meaning of grief until I lost my best friend and soul mate. The grief just overwhelms me. It is something I have never experienced like this before, even worse than when I lost my dad because my husband was my life partner and our future just ended with no warning. I can be fine one minute then see something of his and go into unstoppable crying and it is so painful to me, but I know I have to go through it. And it helps to know others on here are going through the same emotions and pain as me. I wouldn't worry about what is normal. Allow yourself to go through the process and know you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brokenheart222 Posted February 8, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2014 Hi Sophia. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can imagine you must still be in a state of shock & will be so.for awhile. Please make sure that you have a support system of family & friends who make sure you're being taken care of. As a woman I can tell you it hurts so bad to miss the man who was your comfort and.support & it will take your body some time.to get used to being alone. If you have a male friend or family member who can hold you when you cry I highly recommend it. Our bodies go through shock at the loss of comfor,touch & warmth. If you have children I'm sure you both need each other to hold. It made me go.crazy after my.fiance died. Like a bad withdrawal. Seek emergency counseling for your sanity as well. It's hard as hell... I'm so so sorry that you have to go through this and lose your life love. It's just horrible.. one more thing I recommend if you can handle it. In a few weeks or months after you've begun grieving it may give you some.comfort to see a reputable medium who can act as a channel or a speaker for you & your husband. I'm sure he'll want you to know he's happy & watching over you. It doesn't help the pain of missing them, just maybe puts your mind a little at ease to know he's there. I still cry everyday & it's been 4 mths. Don't think.about the future yet. It'll be to painful, memories as well hurt. Just get through each day best as you can & pray for strength. Noone will understand unless they've experienced the loss of their heart. It was smart to find this support site. Keep your mind occupied on how to heal between the unfunctional times. Praying for you ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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