First Chinese New Year without dad

[Blackrock]

Today is Chinese New Year - the year of a wooden horse and my dad is not here to sing, clap his hands nor celebrate with our family. I missed him so much and don't know why I took things for granted when he's here.

He's been gone for two months but I still can't accept the fact that I cannot call him nor see him anymore. I am so sorry dad for not taking care of you enough. My new year wish would be that I can reverse time so I can spend more time with my dad. I only dreamt about him twice and I wish I can see him again- even just a dream. I wrote a poem to my dad who was taken away from us due to a sudden heart failure. Maybe someone can relate.

To Our Dad,

We all missed you so much

Your smile, your walk, your laugh

Why so soon you had to go

We wish we have more time with you

Before we had to say goodbye

We wish it was a horrible nightmare

That would go away when we're awake

We were not the best

Guilty of ignorant and lack of persistent

Tears of sorrows and regrets

Why so soon you had to go

In times of distress

You shelter us and protect us

You taught us kindness and laughter

We are so proud of you

Brave and strong to the end

Now we walk this path without you

Your love and smile will be our guide

You will always be in our hearts

We love you and missed you so much

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sincerelysherry]

Blackrock, please accept my deepest sympathy for the passing of your Dad. There are no words I can say to ease the pain within your heart and soul. It's true, one never really understands the value and treasure what we have in our loved ones, until they are gone.

 

Know that your Dad did not chose to leave you. It was something out of his control. He had completed his mission and journey and it was time to continue on to the next phase of his life. The natural order of life. But, the ones left behind grieve and miss them terribly. My Dad has been gone three years now and  my Mom has been gone a year and two months today and I miss them so much. I was very, very close to my Mom, my best friend.  I still reach for the phone to call her, I still want to run to her for her comforting words of compassion and advice. But, I can't. I can only pray and talk to her and hope she can still hear me.

 

I know your Dad still watches over you and will still be a strong influence in your life. Your poem is beautiful and I know he raised an amazing child, you. Your life has changed forever and will never be the same, but you are so much stronger now, so much wiser. You can reach out to those also in pain.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you. May God wrap his arms around you, hold you close to his heart, comfort you, give you rest and give you strength and courage. If you ever need to talk, I am right here.    Sincerely, Sherry

[Guest Kirbibizzle]

I relate, Blackrock. Even if you feel like you're completely alone in this, just know that I, and so many others, relate. Our dads are no longer here and things will never be the same.

 

It's Super Bowl Sunday. I should be watching the game with my dad like we do every year. How quickly life can go from so great, so perfect, to so terrible and so awful in just minutes.

 

I've been trying to dream about my dad too, but sadly, to no avail. At least I've been able to sleep somewhat normally. I know that there's a way to speak to him again, I just need to find the right way. I won't give up hope that we will be reunited. Astral projection is another way I've been considering, but my thoughts are still too cloudy to reach out to him.

 

Also, to Sherry, your words were extremely helpful to me as well. My dad lived a full life, and I've learned to accept that. Though I feel like he was taken far too soon, he was content with the lives we had built together. He taught me so many things and I'm still learning from him even now.