Members kristenczer Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 I lost my soul mate, my husband, my best friend 11 days ago. Everyone always said we completed each other. The waves of uncontrollable emotions are enough to drive anyone crazy. The nightmares are the worst part. Bruce died suddenly at home with me. Perfectly healthy. One minute there, next gone. Everyone tells me how strong I am. I just want to scream, it makes me so angry to hear that. I am a hot mess, have to remind myself to get out of bed, clean the house, eat. So lost. I just feel like someone ripped my heart and soul out. I am angry, not aimed at anyone but it fills me with this blackness that is so hard to explain. I miss him so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 30, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 Hi Kristen. I am so sorry for your loss. There are so many people on this website who understand exactly what you are going through. My Tom was perfectly happy and healthy, too, when I lost him and the grief seemed unbearable. If you haven't found a grief support group in your area yet, I encourage you to do that. I KNEW when I lost Tom that I couldn't handle the grief alone and I reached out to every single person who I thought might understand....everyone who I knew who had lost a spouse. For me, I was able to find enough people to get me over the roughest times (although I have to admit that after three months, the rough times still hit me completely unexpectedly). I found grief support groups by calling local hospices. I hate the phrase, but you really need "grief buddies" to help you through this. You are experiencing the worst thing you will probably ever experience. Don't try to do it alone. Please feel free to send me a private message if you want. Just hover your cursor over my name on here and a box will show up giving you that option. BIGGEST hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kristenczer Posted January 30, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 30, 2014 I found a small amount of comfort on here, reading the stories of other people. I know I am not alone with how I feel. I just dont think I am strong enough in a group setting talking about the blackness I have in my soul. I cant even put into words half of how I feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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