Members Kennakayleejo Posted January 22, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 I don't even know what to say right now... I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking about my baby girl.... I just want her back, she's my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mybeautifulgirl Posted January 22, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2014 Hello Kennakayleejo, I am sorry for your loss. You have come to a haven where you thoughts can be expressed without judgement. There are many here who have been here a lot longer than myself and can offer so much more than I can. I do have an understanding of your how you must be feeling. I lost my beautiful girl when a medical procedure went wrong in July last year so I am a newbie as well. My thoughts are constantly reliving the past when we were together. Tears seem to come often, being just below the surface. When you are able please tell us of your daughter, she certainly looks so pretty. Take good care of yourself , our prayers and thoughts are with you. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingB Posted January 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss. The extreme pain of your loss can be so devastating, overwhelming and unreal. You have found a good safe place where you can say anything and we all understand. I'm wondering if you have looked for a local The Compassionate Friends chapter? I found out about this support group a few months after my son died and find the support there so helpful in addition to the wonderful people on this forum. I remember being so lost and wanting to know if what I feel or how I react or not react to people and things was/is "normal". The support of others who have lost a child are the only ones who really can give the support and understanding for this. Personally I struggled a lot because my friends just couldn't relate and as much as they wanted to help - they couldn't and didn't because, thankfully, this is something that they can't fathom. The thread "Loss of an Adult Child" has a very active community and I would encourage you to read and post there. Don't worry about the age of your sweet baby we are all here to support each other. Take care of yourself the best you can. And when you can please tell us about your sweet girl. Jill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2014 Kennakayleejo... Words cannot express the sorrow I feel for your loss. This is such a tough journey. I wish I had some answers, but right now I can only say that you are not alone. My only son, Brooks, was killed in September, and I have the same feelings every day that you do. I don't know when it will get better...I don't know what our future holds, but I do know that sharing on this site has helped me cope...kept me sane...made my days a little more meaningful. No answers...no lessening of the pain yet, but I have been given hope that I will find some peace eventually and that I will live again...if only to honor my son's memory. I would like to know more about your beautiful daughter if you want to share. I found that I wasn't able to relive all Brooks' memories by myself, but on this site, I found an amazing group of people who helped me share and allowed me to grieve with them. Please know you are not alone, even though it may feel so right now. We are here for you. Praying for comfort and peace to you in the midst of "all this." Jill... I am also so sorry for your loss. Brooks was my only son, too. I hope that you will also share more with us. I would love to know more about your Bryce. Words just cannot express our loss, especially to those who have not experienced it. You are right in that. But this site is my lifeline...and the true friends I have met here have kept me sane. Jan... I love that picture of you and Sarah. She has a smile like Brooksy. Hoping all is well "down under" and that you aren't in the middle of the heat wave that you guys get every summer. Haven't heard of any big fires yet...they always seem to come though. God, please give peace to those here who need your comfort. Please allow them to feel their child in a way only you can provide. Give them solace and help them heal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mybeautifulgirl Posted January 23, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2014 Hello Wade,Thank you for your comments re. Meagan. She had a beautiful smile and a beautiful nature. She was so happy and her life so full of happiness. She rarely got angry. She understood so well when others were hurting, she was was sincere so understanding.I am hurting badly tonite. I have moved homes and although I have all her belongings here I feel sad that she is not here. She wanted to move to a new home and I am sad she is not here. Re. The heat . Last week we experienced very hot days over 41 C so hot. A few fires but now extinguished.This grief business is so confusing. Some days I feel fine other days in depths of sorrow.I am thankful that I can come here and express how I feel.I feel Wade that you are at a similar stage to myself as we lost our loved ones about the same time.Thanks for readingThinking of everyone on this grief journeyJan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 26, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2014 Jan... Yes, I am walking right beside you on this journey. It has been so hard the last couple of weeks. Maybe the worst...don't know why. Looking at pictures...watching videos...thinking of old memories...wishing for new memories that will never come... I know it will get better, because our human spirit will carry us through, but mine has been knocked out cold and I am finding it very hard to come out of it. I guess we will do the best we can and wait for the hurt to ease so we can find a better path. It will happen, Jan. Meagan is with you no matter where you are...especially in your heart. That keeps me going...my heart has all the memories of Brooks and they will never be forgotten. No matter where...no matter when...I can bring those memories to the surface. Now they are raw and emotional, but our friends who have been on this journey longer have said that this will eventually pass and those memories will start to bring more smiles than tears...more laughs than screams. I pray for those day for both of us. Hoping you feel some of that in the coming days...prayers and thoughts flowing your way, Jan. Brooks played baseball in Melbourne and another large city north of there after he graduated from HS. He loved it... It was the first time he had been out of the country. He was on an all-star team that toured a little playing ball. Those were good days. Take care, Jan...I will say Meagan's name aloud and think of the love she gave you and those around her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mybeautifulgirl Posted January 28, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 28, 2014 Wade,You must be a very caring person. You seem to think of everyone on this site. It seems so hard to give when one is hurting so much.Interesting that Brooks was in Melbourne playing baseball. Baseball is not a major sport here although where I live we do have a baseball stadium. Meagan passed away on a Tuesday. Every Tuesday I relive that fateful day over and over. It was 7 months ago but by golly it feels like yesterday! I think of you and others on this site and feel a bond that we share. It gives us a chance to express our feelings without being judged.Prayers and thoughts to everyone here.Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wendy1714 Posted January 28, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 28, 2014 Kennakayleejo I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful baby. I lost my son Anthony Jan 7 of this year. He turned 34 on December 26th, He was my christmas baby. The emotions are unreal. I cannot stop thinking about him. It hurts sooo bad when I look at pictures of him. most of the tears have stopped, all i feel now is empty. His death happened very quick, Went to the hospital on Sunday. I spoke to him that night and he was fine, The next morning which was monday he was placed on a Resporator, I could not get there in time, to talk to him. They tried to wait for me but, they could not wait,, and died the next day on Tuesday Morning. He Left 2 beautiful children Adriana and Anthony Jr. I read all post from you wonderful people, and the support is amazing. I guess there is no easy answer to any of this. I visit him every day, not believing this is real and I am going to wake up, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mybeautifulgirl Posted January 29, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 29, 2014 Hello Wendy1714,So sad you lost your son. My heart goes out to you. We are all members of this "club" we don't want to belong to.You will find strength here. Everyone here understands your grief and supports you on this journey. Please tell us more about your son when you are ready. Please take care of yourself and remember we are all here for you.Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissKylie Posted February 1, 2014 Members Report Share Posted February 1, 2014 #9 Kennakayleejo I also lost my 5 year old daughter because of cancer. Someone you've taken good care of like a treasure will be taken away from you just like that, feel so bad. But we need to be good people so that one day, we will be with our angels. My prayers and thoughts with you. No words can comfort you but God knows how much love we gave and in time, He will help us get through this pain. Thanks for building this site to support people like us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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