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My husband died yesterday


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We have had a really hard road the last 7 months... and now I don't want to keep going.

My husband Tommy was 33 years old. He is the father of my 3 amazing children ages 7, 6, and 4 months. He means everything to me and I love him with all my heart and soul...

7 months ago my husband's oldest daughter (from a previous marriage) accused him of sexually molesting her in order to get her way to move out and live with her grandparents. This of course brought legal issues. So for this whole time we have been dealing with that. I know he was innocent and we were very prepared to prove it in court but it kept getting extended...

Because of the accusations when our youngest child was born my husband was kicked out of the hospital and wasn't even allowed to see him while he was in the NICU with a collapsed lung for 9 days.

Our middle child has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair.

Our oldest son has autism...

Because of all the greif and stress my husband began abusing his prescription medications. He was taken to hospital 5 times for overdose.

All of December he was in rehab to get better.

On Sunday night he was acting weird as if he had taken something. I got mad at him and yelled at him. Then took the baby and went to bed. At 5 am I went back downstairs to get a diaper for the baby. I found my husband lying on the living room floor. He was making a weird sound with his breathing and his eyes were open. He wasn't responsive.

I called 911 and they took him to local hospital and then life flighted him to larger city.

Before I could even make it to other hospital they called and said his heart had stopped and they couldn't get it back.

I am just so lost. I am so confused. I don't know where I go from here.

The tox reports all came back negative so now I wonder if something was wrong and I just assumed he took stuff and he was really having a medical issue.

I am so mad at myself for not being there for him.

I am mad at him for leaving me with 3 young kids who adore their daddy and are all greif stricken and crying for him all day.

Why do these things happen? How do you go on? How do you talk to others?

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OMG...this brings back memories for me!!!  The first night my husband was taken to the hospital my ambulance I thought the same thing!!  I thought he used too many fentanyl patches or took too many lortab, then I thought he was drunk.  He was neither.  That acting crazy can be a symptom of not getting enough oxygen in your blood.  When 911 got there his oxygen saturation was 30%...it was insane!!!  He ended up with some weird pneumonia and died 4 months later in physical rehab.


I am so sorry that you lost your husband.  I know how hard it is.  These early days are the absolute hardest.  Stay with this forum and read as much as you can and of course post!!  It helps so much!  My prayers are with you and your children.

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