Not coping well with loss

[thughespa]

Hello,

So, My mom passed on August 12th.  It was really quick she got diagnosed with Lung cancer on June 10th.  The middle of July she decided to stop treatment and went into hospice.  I was with her everyday and have started to have flashbacks of my time spent there.  And the dreams where I have to convince her that she has dead have started again.

 

<y mom was a single mom and I lived with her until I got married 2 1/2 years ago.  That was during the time when I lost my Uncle (for lack of a better word), God Mother and Grandmother.  My mother in law currently is having a relapse of ovarian cancer and my grandfather is starting chemo because his cancer has started to progress.

 

I am having a really hard time trying to figure out my life without her.  We did ALOT together and talked almost everyday.  And I saw her about once a week.  I feel very lost.  I have to do all this stuff with the estate and I am lost at sea with it.

 

So anyway, that's me

[Dosh Garnett]

Hi,

 

You must be feeling really lost right now and so many losses for you. I am sorry to read all of this. It must be incredibly hard to cope on a daily basis and get back to routine. Especially since you and your mom were so close.

My mom also just passed on Dec 14th, 2013. She was originally diagnosed with uterine cancer in Dec 2012, she had a hysterectomy, chemo then radiation in the spring. The cancer ultimately proved to aggressive and it spread into her spine and ribcage. She opted to not try any more treatment and stayed in her assisted living unit until late November when she started to get weak, tired and fell a lot. I saw her last on Dec 2nd, she looked as well as could be expected but I was never able to talk to her on the phone after that.

I am also the executor for my mom's small estate and there is so much to do that I am not focussed on. I am able to get back to work and mostly function but there are days when I just can't do it. It's a hard place that you are in right now and my heart goes out to you. It sounds cliche but take it day by day, minute by minute. Be kind to yourself. Indulge yourself. Sleep. Try to remember to eat. Sauna/hot tubs. Massage therapy helps a lot, if you're able. Cry. Rage. Talk about her... A LOT. Find someone who will listen to you talk about random facts. Come here and visit, chat and vent A LOT. Someone else said to me, we are all in this boat together. I find it's been really helpful coming here to share and vent. Last thing that I have been trying to do is journal a lot. I found this blog with an interesting article. It's here:http://www.xojane.com/family/8-simple-rules-on-what-to-do-when-your-parent-dies I found that it was well written and she did hit on some good points. Warning, it will likely make you cry a bit. At least it did that to me.

 

Much hugs and peace to you. Be well.