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Lost my mother


RTF

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Christmas Eve

She and I were on our own day by day since I was 11

Now I'm 54

I feel a great hole in my life

Plus I'm in a divorce

It's all very painful

Thanks for listening

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They called me at the nursing home and said her pneumonia was clearing up. Then about eight hours later I was called at the emergency room and she was in respiratory failure and atrial fibrillation. She was in agony.

I sang into her ear as the morning hours of December 24 began. I can't believe she is gone, I feel so alone. I make bad decisions, eat too much, take a long time with small decisions, can't think straight, feel like I'm going crazy.

Had anyone joined local support groups and have they helped you?

Saw the movie "her" last night and it was good. A lot of getting into the mind of someone who was hurting and alone.

I hope everyone here finds comfort in their time of grief.

Thanks

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RTF,

The inability to make decisions, taking too long, feeling crazy, eating too much (or too little) is all very normal, particularly with where you are at in your grieving experience, so please don't feel like you are the only one.

I actually organized several self help grieving groups at the prison where I work, and I know they work--you just have to find one that you are comfortable in and where you are willing to open up and share your thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Another thing that helps is to journal--write how you feel no matter what that feeling is.

People also often write letters to their lost loved one and say what they've always wanted to say. Many find it very therapeutic.

Do you have siblings? Other relatives? Do you talk to them?

ModKonnie

 

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I have kids in their teens. It's hard to lean on them and hard not to.

I have a half sister I've never met who I feel I should have had up to see my mother though she had a lot of dementia. My sister and I have only texted. Now I have to call her and tell her.

I have friends but it hurts even so.

Thanks

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