my beautiful sister

[♡Kayba]

I have been searching for a shoulder for a very long time. My sister was my anchor, my best friend, almost a mother to me. It has been almost 6 years at the end of this month and I have yet to really talk about it.

When I was 14 my sister lost her battle to cystic fibrosis at the age of 21.

I am crying so much right now my stomach hurts. I dont want to be sad anymore she wouldn't want me to be. I just cannot help it.

[ModKonnie]

Kayba,

 Have you considered any kind of professional counseling or a grief and loss self help group? You have definitely come to a great community where we encourage you to talk about your feelings. It's the only way you are going to heal. You are right--your sister would not want you to cry all the time. She would want you to live and enjoy your life so she can feel happy, too.

Do you have parents that are supportive? Have you thought about journaling or writing your sister a letter and talk to her about how you are feeling? Many people find it therapeutic.

We will be with you,

ModKonnie

[KatieKat]

Kayba, my situation is far too familiar to yours. My sister passed away 6 years ago on January 20th 2008 when I was 16, she was also 21. I find myself grieving now more than ever, but also loving her more than I ever thought possible. 

 

It's so hard to find a shoulder to cry on because of your choices, those who didn't know her and those who did. I never talk to my family members about my sister because I do not want them to go through the pain and reminder that she has died. For those who don't know her, simply just do not know her, and it's difficult to emphasize the loss. 

An older sister is that companion in your family that treated you like a daughter because of her nurturing instincts but also was playful and chatty like a friend. You get the best of both worlds, a trustworthy friend and someone to watch over you. There's nothing like a sister bond and losing that is absolutely devastating. 

It's easy to brush it off and say that's life, but there are moments where you longingly need your sister, and you beg to have that connection again, because you know what that connection feels like. It's horrifying to loose that connection. It's horrifying for those moments when all you need is her love and in return you get a reminder that she's gone. 

 

I know that our relationships with our sisters were so different, but I've had a sister connection, and I've lost it too. So even if I can't compensate for a conversation of what a beautiful person your sister probably was, I know your loss is so sad and my heart goes out to you.

 

Know that when your grieving, she is there grieving with you, and when you calm down, she calms down too and lays by your side and cuddles you and loves you. Then, when your ready, she's right there encouraging you to be the best person you can be because she knows you can do it. 

 

Best of luck babe,

Katie

[mysisterskeeper29]

Kayba, 

 

I too have been looking for some comfort lately. In November it will mark 3 years since my sister died, I was 21 ans she was 18. She was my bestfriend, my anchor, my other half. I too have yet to really speak about my sisters death, and am not quite sure how almost 3 years have gone without seeing her. I find myself feeling extremely lost, and all I want to do is call her, see her, just have her reassure me that things are going to be ok. It has been extrememly difficult for me knowing that I will never have that relationship in my life. I feel so incomplete and empty, and I feel as though the only thing that would make me feel whole again is to have her by my side. I feel like my life will never seem normal or ok, there will always be something missing, there will always be a feeling of emptiness. I know that my sister would never want me to feel this way, but I'm not sure how else to feel.