Lost a second Mom have dreamt of her almost everynight for almost 9 yrs

[spinmeaweb]

I lost Linny she was like me second Mom I was 32 she was only 55 it was sudden the ambulance took her away I never saw her alive again she owned the house I lived in she lived upstairs I lived on the 1st floor we gardened together did a lot together we were family she was my Moms best friend of 26 yrs. My Mom is alive. Like I had 2 Moms they were different. She had 3 kids they didn't have anything to do with her unless they wanted something. I got married in the back yard in 1999 . She taught me to drive etc... well she died almost 9 yrs ago I did the flowers for her memorial service the pastor said in the service my family was her extended family so I went up and spoke....I didn't crack until then I was shaking talking about her crying it was awful. that was August 18th her daughter Justine was in charge of the Will etc....Well she left some money to my family Justine was mad it wasn't a lot we didn't know or want anything her children didn't contest it. But I was gardening in the back yard Oct 30th just a few months after her death well the daughter ( my age) beat me up 2 times in the back yard she let me go then got me from behind again. called the police she was arrested plead guilty I didn't lay a finger on her she got 3 yrs adult diversion. Sorry long winded!! we moved Nov4th . the 1st yr was BAD I wouldn't get out of bed no make up nothing made me happy I cried everyday for 1 yrs solid I put my hair in a ponytail hacked it off cuz I couldn't stand to deal with my long hair. I lost weight the 1st yr. my mom dragged me out of bed everyday I had never lost anyone that close my Mom lost her Mom when she was only 35 my Gram was only 63 so my Mom knew how I felt. I love my Mom dearly wanted to give backround info . OK present day!!! I have dreamt about Linny almost everynight!! for almost 9 yrs!! they are not comforting dreams it has to do with me trying to tell her she died always trying to talk to her but she never hears me. Or being back at my home with her ( we moved 4 times in 3 1/2 yrs after her death) always her grown kids are there all right around my age in my dreams i'm always searching for her things etc.......I am better now minus I don't have that true happy feeling about anything happy but not that carefree happy I once was but i'm functioning fine. I can't stand these dreams i'm always crying in them and I wake up sad is this really un normal ???? Am I the only one???? I not only lost her I lost my home , the house is always in my dreams as well. I don't go around in the day thinking of her but seems shes there at night so I try not to sleep until 4am wake up normal time I don't dream bad dreams I don't dream at all if I can stay awake till 4am I just started doing this ......Any thoughts anyone??????? Thanks  P.S I tried therapy it didn't work had 2 cats they both died the same yr a lot happened

[Sehausle]

I lost Linny she was like me second Mom I was 32 she was only 55 it was sudden the ambulance took her away I never saw her alive again she owned the house I lived in she lived upstairs I lived on the 1st floor we gardened together did a lot together we were family she was my Moms best friend of 26 yrs. My Mom is alive. Like I had 2 Moms they were different. She had 3 kids they didn't have anything to do with her unless they wanted something. I got married in the back yard in 1999 . She taught me to drive etc... well she died almost 9 yrs ago I did the flowers for her memorial service the pastor said in the service my family was her extended family so I went up and spoke....I didn't crack until then I was shaking talking about her crying it was awful. that was August 18th her daughter Justine was in charge of the Will etc....Well she left some money to my family Justine was mad it wasn't a lot we didn't know or want anything her children didn't contest it. But I was gardening in the back yard Oct 30th just a few months after her death well the daughter ( my age) beat me up 2 times in the back yard she let me go then got me from behind again. called the police she was arrested plead guilty I didn't lay a finger on her she got 3 yrs adult diversion. Sorry long winded!! we moved Nov4th . the 1st yr was BAD I wouldn't get out of bed no make up nothing made me happy I cried everyday for 1 yrs solid I put my hair in a ponytail hacked it off cuz I couldn't stand to deal with my long hair. I lost weight the 1st yr. my mom dragged me out of bed everyday I had never lost anyone that close my Mom lost her Mom when she was only 35 my Gram was only 63 so my Mom knew how I felt. I love my Mom dearly wanted to give backround info . OK present day!!! I have dreamt about Linny almost everynight!! for almost 9 yrs!! they are not comforting dreams it has to do with me trying to tell her she died always trying to talk to her but she never hears me. Or being back at my home with her ( we moved 4 times in 3 1/2 yrs after her death) always her grown kids are there all right around my age in my dreams i'm always searching for her things etc.......I am better now minus I don't have that true happy feeling about anything happy but not that carefree happy I once was but i'm functioning fine. I can't stand these dreams i'm always crying in them and I wake up sad is this really un normal ???? Am I the only one???? I not only lost her I lost my home , the house is always in my dreams as well. I don't go around in the day thinking of her but seems shes there at night so I try not to sleep until 4am wake up normal time I don't dream bad dreams I don't dream at all if I can stay awake till 4am I just started doing this ......Any thoughts anyone??????? Thanks  P.S I tried therapy it didn't work had 2 cats they both died the same yr a lot happened

While I am certainly not an expert I can relate to having dreams. My dad recently passed away and I have actually prayed to dream about him ( I don't want to forget his voice or details that I feel like dreams can preserve). I only get upset when I have certain kinds of dreams and those are those ones in which I realize in the dream that he is dead. I wake up very sad (similarly) and I think it has something to do with me realizing that it really must be true if even my subconscious recognizes it. Perhaps there's a part of you that doesn't quite want to believe it al?  I know rationally what we think every day can be quite different from how we're feeling so perhaps that rings true for you as well? I hope you and I both can eventually peace from our dreams eventually, and I am sorry for your loss.