Members johngeoffdoug Posted January 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 On August 9th, 2013, our family lost a very precious gift ... a son, brother, best friend. It was the average day, Geoff got home from work, and took a shower. He had a job that he was so happy with, he was a diesel mechanic. Ever since he was young, he loved to work on things. When in high school, he knew what he wanted to do with his life, and he went on to school to receive his degree in diesel mechanics. Seeing him graduate and reach his goals filled me and my husband with so much pride. He worked all through college, just on weekends, and pretty much did it for nothing, because he had to travel over 100 miles to come home and work, but he never complained!!! He kept the same job once he graduated, and he and the entire staff got along so well. At just 21, he bought a brand new 2013 truck (all on his own, no co-signer). He was also starting to put his driveway in for his house (each of the kids have land given to them by us). Then on August 8th, he came home, chatted with his father about the truck that he was restoring, and I remember just looking back and forth between them and just smiling to myself, because I had no idea what they were talking about, was over my head!!! When Geoff came out of the shower, we crossed each other in the living room, and my husband asked me what I had put on ... and Geoff said, that was me (it was his cologne) as he chuckled... he then said bye to us, that he was going to his friends to play horse shoes. With that we told him to be careful (it was something we've always said) and that we loved him. He told us he would and that he loved us too. Well, that night he never came home ... my youngest son got a call at 3:30 in the morning from one his (and Geoffs) friends, and he was crying. He said that Geoff had taken off on a motorcycle, and that he wasn't back and that the police, fire, and ambulance had gone by. At this point, we immediately left and our first stop was the hospital, where we were told that they didn't have anyone there that had been in a motorcycle accident, but they gave us the number to the police station to find out if they were investigating a motorcycle accident... when we got through, they told us that they were in fact investigating an accident. They told us that we should not go to the scene, but as a parent, we all know that it would be impossible not to. At that point, I knew that it was not good. When we arrived on scene, the ambulance and police were there .. but there was no activity. They told us that our son had died instantly. He had lost control and hit a clump of trees. The worst part is is that my husband asked to see him ... and they let him. It is something that I couldn't bring myself to do, I couldn't see him like that. The coroner said he died of severe head trauma and other multiple injuries ... the bike also exploded after a time. I know this because their was a witness at the scene, who happens to be the niece of my brother in law ... she was on her way home from work, and she said that Geoff had passed her .. only at that time, she didn't know it was him. She said that she knew he died right away, and he didn't feel any of the fire. It was the worst day of our lives ... I miss him so much. No one will tell us why he got on that motorcycle ... he was at a party, and was the only sober one ... (autopsy confirmed he was not under the influence of anything). No one wants to talk about it ... he and his younger brother were just talking the Sunday before about motorcycles. Geoff was saying that he wanted to get a Harley (like his dad) because he said that he knew if he got a crotch rocket, that he would hurt himself..... but he ended up losing his life. He has left so many wondering .. the outpouring at his services was incredible ... people of all ages ..from 5 - 70 were affected by him. Everyone said it was so out of character for Geoff, that he was so responsible ... the one time he chose to be irresponsible, cost him his life. I go to a parent bereavement group...because I feel that I can talk about Geoff and everyone there understands what I'm going through. So many of our friends and family don't even call to see how we're doing .. and that hurts. The worst thing to do is to not talk about it ..to act as if Geoffrey was never a part of all our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted January 13, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Geoff's Mom, First, I am so sorry for your loss. Second, you have come to the right place. A place where each of us has experienced a loss and we are trying to rebuild our lives. My son, Brian was killed on 6-19-2008. He was car-surfing. He was on the hood of a car and his friend lost control. Each one of us has our own story. None worse or better than the other. We all lost a piece of ourselves. I post on Loss of an Adult Child thread. Brian was not an adult, but I am welcomed just the same. It has been 5.5 years since I saw my son Brian or heard his laugh. Over the 5.5 years, my family has managed to stay together. It has not been easy. Alot of anger that needs to find its place. Please tell us about your responsible, wonderful son, Geoff. I know my Brian was a risk taker, but never in 1 million years did I think my son would be car-surfing. Why our kids do what they do is a mistery to many of us. Consider yourself hugged. Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members johngeoffdoug Posted January 13, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Colleen,I am also sorry to hear of your loss. I know too many people that have lost a child, and a club that none of us want to be a part of. Geoff was responsible, but he did have a need for speed. He never went crazy, but he loved to burn rubber, and loved to hear his loud exhaust!!!! There are days when I find it hard to be around people that are laughing ... is that wrong. I wonder how they can go about their lives when we have lost such a big part of ours. The days seem to be getting harder, and I don't know why. At first, there were so many people coming by and calling, but now, it is just a handful of our close friends. I feel like even our own family has deserted us. It isn't easy for them either, they were all devasted, But now, they just don't talk about it, nor do they call us. Every day I wonder why that day was Geoff's day .... my least favorite saying is that "everything happens for a reason." There isn't any reasoning with what happened. With your son ... well, car surfing certainly is dangerous, and nothing you would think he would ever have done ..how could they, they know better. What some just live for the thrill of danger and adrenolin. And 16, that is just unthinkable, so much more to do and look forward to .. dreams to dream. I am glad I found this sight, but am not quite sure how to navigate around it.Thank you for responding to my post, it means alot to me.Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted January 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Dear Karen, Welcome to our this beautiufl supportive place. I am so sorry to read of rhe loss o fyour precious son and do understand the pain and sorrow of which you speak. I lost my only son, Stephen 7 years ago and found the support of this site saved my sanity and life.Please go to the Loss of adult child section, click on "reply" and post. You will be supported by a huge number of parents who understand as few others can. This is the site link http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/topic/41-loss-of-an-adult-child/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 14, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Karen... I don't have a lot of words right now...so tired and sad...but my thoughts will be with you...as will my prayers. I would love to share more...Geoff with me...Brooks with you. This is such a hard journey and my daily questions go unanswered, but my friends on this site have saved me so I encourage you to continue sharing. I, also, post on the site Colleen and Betty mentioned. They are like my family now. Their words of comfort are a daily blessing for me, and for those of us new to this journey, their words of wisdom in the midst of their own pain are beyond measure. Again, my thoughts and prayers are flowing your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members johngeoffdoug Posted January 14, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Betty,Thank you for responding to my post. So sorry about your loss. We all know how precious our children are, and would have never imagined a life without them. I am hoping this site can help me to cope better. It is such a difficult time in our lives. My husband tends to keep it all in. I do go to a parent bereavement group that meets once a week, and I do feel better when I leave there. Every day my first waking thought is Geoffrey as is the last thing I think of before I finally go to sleep. I am trying to live as much of a normal life as possible, because we still have our 19 year old son at home with us. Hoping that this sight leads me to find some normalcy, and knowing that I'm not going crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members johngeoffdoug Posted January 14, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Wade,I am not even sure what to say. Such a senseless death, I will never understand how one person thinks they have the right to take anothers life. We never imagine that we will lose our children, let alone in such a horrific way. I noticed your loss date was exactly a month after we lost our son. The day will be forever vivid in my mind. I don't even know how we managed to make it through the services. Every day I wake up and say, "another day without my Geoffrey" ... it all still seems so unreal ... like I am living someone elses life, this couldn't have happened to us...it's something you only read about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted January 15, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2014 Karen... Yes, so senseless. The detectives said he was doing a good thing. His best girl-friend from HS was having trouble with an unwanted suitor and was afraid so she called Brooks. He went over and talked with the guy for only a couple minutes...a person he also knew...and the person walked away. Brooks and his friend then went into her house. They guy walked to his car, got a gun, walked into the house and shot Brooks in the head and then killed himself. Five minutes...that's about how long he was over there. How is life cut short like that? Geoff's smile is so big...so happy. Our lives will get better...I believe that because those on this site who have been on their journey longer have seen the softening of the edges and the memories that bring more smiles than tears. I pray every day they are right...I need them to be right. I will be thinking of you every day now. My list is growing longer but that's ok. Support is important, even from Maine to Nevada...even from people we have never met. As my prayer list grows so does my extended family, and for that I am grateful. Peace to you, Karen, and stay "solid" as my son would say. The sun rises tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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