my dad died on Thursday 9/1/14

[sarahjbe]

My heart is breaking, I feel like I cant breathe with the pain.my eyes are sore an hot from crying. I cant believe my dad is dead! My dad an I were so close when I was small. He use to call me his princess he was my hero. Then things changed. Dad use to work away I loved him comin home I use to count down.then I noticed he started missing weekends out. Then when he would come home he was distant an creatin arguments with mum. It got to the stage I use to dread him comin home as we would all walk on egg shells. The inevitable happened an they got divorced. For a long time he seemed too busy to phone so I use to write him letters, I was only 11 so I doubt they were deep an meaningful but I use to love our letters. I eventually discovered he had been having an affair with a lady an they had been together most of my childhood. As a teen I would go to london an stay for a week in the summer. It was awkward being around the lady an then going home to my mum. Hated being put in that situation. Dad an the lady moved abroad with dads work. I never saw him we communicated thru email but its not the same. In 2007 I flew over with my partner an my young daughter. Seeing him after so long was weird we were like strangers. My little girl couldnt understand why I didnt hug an kiss my daddy like she did? I found being around him hard so the 2 weeks was strained. The invention of facebook was a huge help. His lover became his wife an I love her. It made it better that mum an dads divorced wasnt for the sake of a fling. We put pics up on Facebook messaged every day, big emails every week. They live so far away you can just jump on a flight its so expensive. In December this year they emailed sayin dads almost finished a contract an they were mobing to europe. They wanted to be closer to the uk for damily to come over. The plans were for sometime early 2014. We were so excited the thought that dad could meet my 3 girls an my husband. Then........friday mornin I woke to an email titled 'urgent' asking for my number. I knew somethin was wrong they nevwr phoned aa it waa ridiculous money. I knew he was dead I could feel it. I heard nothing thwn an email aayin what time is best.??? I phoned my brother we both knew he was dead, why else would we get called....then the phone went, my step mum was screaming cryin uncontrollably saying 4.45 4.45 4.45. Dad had gone to the hospital after his leg had swelled up an was turnin black he waa in agony. Dad never liked drs hospitals hated fuss just plodded on. They got to the hospital at 3.30. The dr did blood test an the results showed dads liver was only 17% functioning. He needed a transplant within 6 months or he would die. They admitted him at 4.15 to try reduce the swelling on his leg. Dad had a seizure they managed to gwt him back but he had another an passed at 4.45. I just cant believe it. This time last week he was here! He never would of had that op he was 60 he was old school. Didnt do anythin by the book did it his way. He died cos he knew he would in 6 months. He wouldnt of wanted to get sick an lose his dignity. I never knew how I would feel an now I know I feel empty inside the pain in my heart is sickening. The most painful part? My step mum said he still called me his princess an he was so proud of me, an I was an amazing mum. I just wish he had said it. I love you dad I just wish I told you more ♥♥♥♥

[ModKonnie]

Sarahjbe,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your dad. It's so difficult to lose a parent. Are you talking to your family about how you feel? You can share with us.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[sincerelysherry]

Dear Sarah,

I am so deeply sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. There is truly a special bond between a Father and a Daughter. Bless your heart, your life has been forever changed. We are never ready at any age, their or ours, to lose a parent. My Mother committed suicide a year ago by shooting herself, so I know the pain of losing a parent.

 

I believe we each were created for a purpose, a plan, a mission. I believe our spirits never die and once we complete our mission, we go on to the next chapter of our journey. I imagine your Dad's mission had been completed and you still have to go on and complete yours. I know that your Dad still watches over you and he will watch your family grow.

 

I know you hurt so badly and it will take lots of prayers, lots of tears, and a roller coaster of emotions. But, as time go by, and with the right supportive people around you, you will slowly begin to heal. The rate in which you will heal is different for everyone, but it will happen. I know you are sad for all the missed years, the missed opportunities, the times not shared, but the past cannot be changed and now you have that opportunity with your children and it will teach your husband how to be a better Father for your children.

 

My thoughts and prayers are with you Sarah. I wish there was something I could say to make your little heart and soul feel better, but there are just no words. Just know that my heart breaks for you and there are those of us out here that are praying for you and your family. If you should need to talk, please feel free to contact me.

 

Sincerely,

Sherry