Sudden Loss of my Father.

[kelgirlll]

Wednesday, December 4th. Just another day to me it seemed. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I was off work that day, and so was my mom. We were both home all day. My dad stopped by to get our trash and to visit. (my parents were seperated but were still very good friends) That was something different. My dad only came by on the weekend to get our trash, because he was busy with work during the week. Him coming by on a random day like that is now the reason I believe that everything happens for a reason.

He stayed for a good twenty minutes or so, just talking and laughing, as usual. Then he went on his way to work. Still, nothing out of the ordinary.

Fast forward to about 11pm that night. I was facetiming my boyfriend downstairs in the living room. My mom was upstairs in bed. First it was her phone ringing. I could hear it downstairs and noticed she wasn't answering. I took it that she didn't recognize the number and was just ignoring it. I continued my conversation with my boyfriend.

My mom came walking down the stairs about ten minutes later. She told me to get dressed, she just got a call saying that my dad was on his way to the emergency room in the ambulance. I rushed upstairs to find some jeans and a sweatshirt.

We raced down to the hosptial as fast as we could. All I could think about the entire time was what happened? About 5 minutes away from the hospital, an ambulance got behind us, and passed us. They changed lanes so they were directly in front of us. I was so afraid to look up. When I finally did, all I could see was a girl. This girl, younger than I am, was doing all that she could in giving CPR. I mean, manually, not through a machine. She was pushing up and down HARD. She did not stop doing that until after I couldn't see her anymore.

I knew right then, even if I couldn't see him, that was my daddy in there. I knew right then, that it was too late. I could feel it. I could feel that my daddy was no longer on this earth with us anymore. My mom and I walked into the emergency room doors to check in. My dad's new girlfriend, his twin brother and his wife were already there. They were half way through registering him. My dad's new girlfriend could hardly speak. She couldn't think of any of the answers that were asking. So my mom and I stepped forward and answered everything she couldn't.

The secretary told us all to have a seat out in the waiting room and a nurse would be out shortly to let us know the status. As I walked towards the waiting room, I heard the door open, and turned around and saw my cousin. She's an EMT on the ambulance. Just by the look on her face, I knew he didn't make it. After that, everything just went black. The first thing I remember after this is my mom and my dad's girlfriend picking me up off the floor. After the doctor explained what happened, everything was like one big blur. I did a double take and my entire family was there. The doctor told us that my daddy had a massive heart attack. There was nothing they could do, he was already gone.

The following days were the hardest for me. All the sympathy, all the tears, all the sad words. The funeral wasn't easy either. The only thing that made it bearable for me was my group of amazing friends that were there for me. They all stood in the same place together during the funeral. Every time I looked over, they were all watching me. I wouldn't have made it through without them.

Losing my daddy was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. I'm sure it won't be the last hard thing for me to do either. Always treasure the moments spent with your loved ones. You never know when they'll be taken away from you. Next time something out of the ordinary happens to you, take notice. Usually that means something is about to happen. Hug your family and friends a little tighter every time you see them. You'll thank yourself for doing that one day.

[sincerelysherry]

Kelgirl, I am so very sorry you lost your Dad. There are no words I can possibly say to you that will make you feel better. Life is so hard. The trials that we have to go through, whether to build our character, or to learn compassion, or learn something, seems more than we can bear at times. No matter how old they are, or how old we are, we are never ready to say goodbye to a parent. They were our teachers, our rocks, our stability, and it isn't easy to let go. The circle of life seems so unfair when we lose our loved ones. Remember the good times and know, without a shadow of a doubt, your Dad is still with you, still loving you, still watching over you. Time goes by so quickly and you will see him again one day. Cry, mourn, be kind to yourself. Your Dad would want you to go forward in life and live it to the fullest. Celebrate his life by going forward. He will be proud of your strength and courage. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Trish91]

Hi Sincerelysherry and Kelgirl,

I´m so very sorry for your losses, and yes, life is incredibly tough and throws such awful things at us when least expect it that it is almost impossible to understand why.

Sherry, how have you been able to cope with the loss of your mom given the incredibly difficult circumstances of her passing? My mom passed away from an illness, a monster illness, that´s for sure, and it is super hard, so I cannot imagine how I would manage if it had happened in the way that it happened for your mom. I am sorry to ask you such delicate question, and believe me, I am not judging in anyway, as I think that everybody has his/her own time to die, and that we all do in different ways, and that we are all ready to die at a certain point in time, so I completely respect everybody´s choices, it´s just that it is so hard to accept when it happens, ´naturally´, that I cannot imagine the suffering of those left behind when it is the person who has made the choice to end his/her life.

Having said that, our moms were suffering incredibly, each in their own way, and in the end my mom didn´t even want to receive any treatment, as she saw it as pointless, as it wasn´t improving her quality of life or eliminating her pain, and thus, she also wanted to go, and let herself go. So, she is no longer experiencing the torture of that illness, and any illness, whether mental or otherwise, has all sorts of implications, both physical and again, mental. So, our moms were ready to go, as hard to accept as that is.

Now, dear Sherry, why do you believe that our parents are still with us, in spirit, looking after us, and accompanying us? I feel so lonely and empty right now, that it is hard for me to believe in God and in an afterlife. I pray to God every day to show me that there is, to strenghten my faith, but I am plagued by doubts, guilt and other negative feelings.

Anyway, I just wanted to let of some steam with people who are in a very similar situation, that of mourning and grief.

Warm regards,

Trish

[Blackrock]

Sorry for your lost. Nov 22 of this year, I lost my dad due to heart problem as well. I never expected it and never have a chance to say goodbye. It is very difficult to accept and it seems like a horrible dream that once awake everything would be back to normal; however, it's not a dream. I will never see him again nor able to take care of him and talk to him. Why did this happened?

I tried to block it out and not to think too much. It really hurts to think about it and I wish my dad can be with us again. I found this website and know that am not alone. We are all with you and support u. Be strong!

Things that was out of ordinary for us happened 10 days before my dad's incident. My sister close the cap of a black marker and her hand has the ink mark that read "10". We wouldn't figured what that meant until it's too late. It was exactly 10 days after the 1 year anniversary of our grandma's passing. We went to visit her at the cemetery, the whole family, my dad was there too. We talked about treasuring loved ones and it's true. Hug them, talk yo them more before it's too late

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Blackrock]

Another out of the ordinary was that my dad requested us to celebrate his birthday a week earlier than his real date. He said let's do it the same week as my mom since they're one week apart.

We always celebrated their birthdays separately but this year it was together as my dad requested. My dad never made it to his real birthday. He past away one day before his birthday.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[WestCoastGirl]

I' m very sorry about the loss of your father. I just lost my father in December and it without a doubt has been the hardest thing ever. It's true to appreciate every moment you have with someone because we are never guaranteed tomorrow. Sending you strength .

[sarahjbe]

So sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad on Thursday night. I didnt find out till fri afternoon as they live in another country. We wont get a funeral. Ill get to see ashes in possibly 6 months. Im devastated. I feel the pain your feeling. The shock. X