Members terri251 Posted January 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 It seems like more times that goes by the more alone I feel. Friends that I had I am loosing either because they just don't get it or because our friendship just doesn't work anymore. I woke up today reminded that my bestfriend was Danny. It just seems like I am constantly loosing something and I have less and less to look forward to. I can't even imagine what happiness is anymore. I have felt alone before but never like this. I look around at people and see how happy they are and wonder how life is able to go while I sit here in this agony missing him with everything I have. I don't know how to explain to people what I am feeling and how their comparisons don't help. I know people say that they are there if you want to talk, but they don't really mean it. It is a nice platitude, where they just want you to feel better.I know I am just rambling this morning, maybe I just needed to ramble a little before I start my day at work. I just thought I would feel less lost now but the opposite is happening, I feel even more lost and I am finding very little comfort in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted January 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 Dear terrie251 - I will not compare but will tell you that all of the people on this site are going through a version of what you're going through. No love, no loss, no grief is the same. Just as what got each of us to this point was different, our journeys forward will differ. But there are many good people here who will listen and do their best to understand, so feel free to rant or ramble. I pray you find some peaceful moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members terri251 Posted January 7, 2014 Author Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 Thanks Alone,I think I just needed to vent a little. I am so frustrated, and tired. I want this process to be over but at the same time I don't ever want to stop remebering and loving my fiance. It is frustrating watching everyone live their lives where I seem to be stuck in the same place of loss, anger, and emptiness. I know my thought are not fair to others, they should continue to live thier lives and be happy. I just wish I still had my fiance with me.I don't know who to talk to anymore, he was there for me whenever I needed him and now I have no one. It is amazing how one person holds such a important place in your life and you don't realize it until they are gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Alone Posted January 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 Venting is good. I call it "verbal vomit" when I say all those inappropriate things that I just need to get out. I use a counselor for that exercise as the things I say during those moments are not meant to be heard by family, friends or even the casual passerby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 7, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2014 Hi Terri. I know how you feel and I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better. I know that I keep hoping that someone will have those "magic words". I do think it helps to go to grief support groups if you can find one, only if they just make you realize that others are feeling the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members miekevson Posted January 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2014 I've noticed that most people say they're there when you need to talk but than when you DO talk they start about something else or don't LET you actually talk... I know it's tough, nobody can really help you, it's something you have to learn to live with I suppose. I dont' know how Im going to do that just yet... Rambling... I do that all day long... when someone asks, I just ramble up all kinds of memories, thoughts and feelings. No one really cares all that much or so it feels... My best friend is gone too, no one can replace him, nor do I want too... I had a day of rage 2 days ago. Not particularly at anything or anybody. Not at God or him, just rage. I was throwing things, hitting my hands up against the wall, I got sick from being so upset. WHY!!! I don't know, they say that is normal... I have a different feeling every single day... one I'm mad, the other i'm so so sad.. I'm lonely all the time... This bed is so so big... It's been 70 degrees the week after he died but it was the coldest week of my life...and still is to this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members miekevson Posted January 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2014 Hi Terri. I know how you feel and I wish I had some magic words to make you feel better. I know that I keep hoping that someone will have those "magic words". I do think it helps to go to grief support groups if you can find one, only if they just make you realize that others are feeling the same thing. Are these free? Reason I'm asking. The last two months of my care for him I had not worked at all, I couldn't do it both anymore on a full time basis... I'm the only one, his family is trying to get money out of old policiies and everything but aren't willing to help me pay for funeral cost. Granted on top of everything I'm flat broke... I need to get things right in my head so I can get back to work so I won't lose my house and everything we build together. I want him to be proud of me, show him I can do this, even without him... not sure if I can though without some support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members backyarder1 Posted January 11, 2014 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2014 Miekevson, I think that grief support groups are typically free. They are where I live. I would try contacting someone from your county and they can help you in starting your search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.