Feeling guilty

[teacheroz]

I am so glad I found you all. My father died very unexpectedly on 12/16. I am overwhelmed with grief and cry at the drop of a dime. I always felt guilty for moving away to go to college and never moving back home, but visited whenever I could. Now I am adding to that guilt for not being there for him the last week of his life. My mom was in the hospital and I was going to surprise them and make a trip home the Friday (4 days after Dad passed). Maybe I should have told dad I was planning the trip....maybe that would have helped him.....I just feel like this is a horrible dream and I will wake up and be able to talk to him again.....

[Blackrock]

Sorry for your loss. Don't we all have our own personal lives and choices that we made which made us feel guilty? I am in similar situation. Guilt is a part of grieve and that's because we recognized the fact that we can do better or the fact that we didn't do what we supposed to do.

Too often these are recognized after the fact and there's no way to correct it except to learn not to make the same mistake. No more selfish excuses! Make family a first priority.

Take care of your mom as she needs u the most. talk to her more, monitor her health with online account, talk to her physician. You don't have to live close by to do those. Imagine how your mom feels now and try to be there for her. Take care

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[Trish91]

Dear Teacheroz,

I´m really sorry for your loss. I lost my mom two weeks ago to cancer, a cancer that destroyed her very quickly, and which was completely unexpected, as symptoms only appeared once it had metastasized. I too feel guilty for I moved overseas for work and couldn´t visit often, though we spoke pretty much every day for at least two hours each time, took wonderful holidays together, shared all our secrets and so on, we truly were best friends and soul mates, if one can say that about a parent.

Anyhow, I am now going through the motions of grief, which are extremely tough.

I just wanted to say that I do understand what you are going through. We all do. Sadly, we are now part of a club that nobody wants to be part of, but which we all become part of at some point in our lives, that of orphans.

If you ever wish to chat, I am here.

Kind regards,

Trish

[sincerelysherry]

I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. One is never ready or prepared to lose a parent. My dear, sweet Mother committed suicide last December, so I understand about feeling guilty. I feel horrible for not seeing how sad she apparently was.

Parents understand that their children have to go forward with their lives and sometimes that involves moving away and having a life elsewhere, so I am sure he understood. He knew you loved him. When your Dad passed, it was his time. His mission here on earth was completed and his journey to the next phase of his life had to begin. I am sure he stopped by to check on you when he passed so know that he understood and he was not alone. Like I said, no matter how old they are or we are, we are never ready

My thoughts and prayers are with you. You will go through a roller coaster of emotions for a long, long time. You will never be the same. It will take a long time to begin to heal, but it will come. Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning.