Loss of mom

[livelaughlove123]

my mom passed away March 28, 2013... she was walking back into her place of work when a coworker came into the parking lot and drove over her... She later passed away in the ambulance. That day has been the beggining of my living nightmare.. I just want to wake up from.. I woke up that morning to missed phone calls from my dad saying that mom was in a accident call him as soon as i can. i just remember my heart sinking and having the feeling of loosing my mom but i kept telling myself its ok she is fine its my mom were talking about here. but when I called my dad back and he said that mom was in a bad accident i need to come to the hospital but to take my time and be safe and that he loves me.. i then remember getting to the hospital and walking up to the quiet room and seeing my dad and sister sitting there and my dad stood up crying and said your mom didnt make it i remember just collapsing and screaming in fear. in fear of whats to come. i then went to see her in her room . . she was in a body bag. That vision is like engraved in my memory.. Im 21 years old and without a mother... she was my best friend ... i didnt go a single day without talking to her.. so many things have gone through my mind that day.. how am i suppose to raise my daughter without her .. get married without her.. do all those big life things without my mother and best friend... this has been my struggle since.. ive developed ptsd from the accident... and i've shut a lot of people out ... its slowly getting better but i feel like i will never be the person that i once was.. i feel like i will never be happy again.. i see glimpses of happiness and then right after i am angry.. i am angry at the world.. why my mom why did she have to die...

Christmas this year sucked minus the fact that my 15 month old daughter was able to actually enjoy christmas this year.. she was the only reason i somewhat enjoyed it.. other than that i sat in silence and spaced out cuz if i payed any attention to what was going on id just cry. i miss my mom so much i just miss her company and her warmth...im getting married jan 14th in mexico ( my moms favorite place) ( we planned this before she passed away) i feel a huge sense of panic as this date gets closer... its not fair your wedding date is suppose to be a happy day .. the best day of your life... i just feel so losttt.... HELP

[ModKonnie]

Livelaughlove,

I am very sorry about your loss of your mother. You get through this pain, panic and anguish by talking about it with your family and friends. It's the best you can do. And in those terribly panicky moments, try to calm yourself and think of what your mom would be telling you. That's what I do when I miss my father. I just sit quietly and picture his face and what he would be saying about the situation.

Your mother would want you to keep living your life and be happy. She would be happy that you are getting married in her favorite place. She will be with you forever in your heart, so you just tuck her in there and feel her presence and know that she loves you as much as you love her.

Do you talk with your sister? Is she older or younger?

We will be here for you.

ModKonnie