7/22/2013 My 17 y/o Cody was stolen away by a drunk driver. I am heartbroken and need help!

[Angeliis]

I have been reading messages on this site since August although I have not been able to post anything. Reading all your posts is very helpful in itself but I need some personal attention. I have reached a point where I feel all alone. I am not alone: I have my husband, my sons father, and my 20 y/o son all who understand and have been great support. My Cody's father is great and seems to go through most all the same feelings I do, my husband was pretty close with my Cody and he is hurting just as if Cody was his own so he has been a great support as well. My 20 y/o is a super boy he is trying to be strong for his mommy and daddy, that creates a whole new worry for me as his mom.

The holidays have been super sad as I have read all of you know and understand. This first year we are trying to do things the same way we would have always done them. I guess that's a common thing.

I am an at home mom, to a now, an empty home. My 20 y/o has a 3 month baby girl I babysit sometimes and that helps keep my time busy although doesn't heal my heart. My Cody was so excited to be an uncle!

My granddaughter and TV is about the only thing I am able to concentrate on for any length of time.

I have not been able to get the energy to keep my house clean, my paperwork things up to date, return my phone calls on any kind of a timely manner.

I do take care of anything that has to do my Cody and or his court hearings. I have adopted the section of the highway were his accident occurred. Joined our local DUI task force and gotten them to dedicate this years task force to Cody doing it in memory of him with pictures of him and a 4' x 6' banner hanging in front of the command post. That has proven to be a very powerful message within our community.

Although none of that is even starting to close the hole in my heart, or make me feel less alone.

Does anyone have any kind words or ideas of how to ease this?

[Angeliis]

I love you mom

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Cody's Mom, I am sorry for the loss of your dear son. The holidays are a very hard time for those of us trying to survive the loss of our children.

Please feel free to join us in the Loss of an Adult Child thread...there are many who post on a regular basis and you will be welcome there to share your loss...

Jesse David's Mom

[shorty16]

Cody Mom,

Yes, you can be kinder to yourself. Your mind, body and spirit have went through the worst experience any parent can go through. We lost our 16 year old Brian to car-surfing in June of 2008.

I know I am living a nightmare. I have been on this journey for over 5 years. You may be expecting too much from yourself. I thought I was going crazy. Everything I set down I lost. I did go back to work, part time for over a year and then went back full time.

Please be kind to yourself. We may have to find happiness in other places, happiness does not come running down the stairs to us anymore. I found happiness in nature and helping others..

Join us on loss of an Adult child. We can help.

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4 ever

[Melodyannhudson]

I am so very sorry to hear about your son. Your story hits home with the exception my daughter (17 also) was not hit by a drink driver but a distracted driver reaching for his cigarettes on the passenger side floor while trying to beat a red light (yellow). I empathize with your pain her Angel date is on the 18th and will be 4 years but feels like yesterday. I to am lost and fighting to keep my home from turning into a dump with papers and items piling up everywhere. I wish I had answers for you, I don't but I can offer you a shoulder or an ear from someone who knows exactly what your going through. Perhaps we could take some steps together. The feeling of loneliness has taken over and I just wanted to let you know I get it. Please feel free to look me up if and when ever your needing to unload, until then I pray your given the strength and support you need on your journey through another day. Hugs

[wgreenlee]

Cody's mom...

 

So very hard...I am so sorry for your pain and loss...nothing will ever fill that void and it is ok to feel the way you do.  This is a hard journey and those of us who have lost a precious child understand.  For me, just sharing like Laurie said has been an enormous help.  I, also, invite you to the "Loss of an Adult Child" forum.  All of us post there frequently and share our children with each other, which for me has been a Godsend.  We will share your grief, but also say Cody's name out loud so he will never, ever be forgotten.  I would love to hear more about him, and also to share my Brooks with you.

[indyama]

Hi Newbie, I have just joined myself. And I am also looking for answers.but I feel the pain though not your pain,, since we all have different ways to cope and grieve. The one thing I repeat to myself as a mantra is "fake it til you make it"

I married a wonderful man 2 months before my son became an angel. I also have a daughter that was only 14 months age different from my Franki. My new husband have children who have received me with open arms and through my step daugher now I have a granddaughter. So I feel an obligation to all of them, and since I am no where near capable of giving as much as I normally would, or even of being my normal self. For all of their sakes I will fake it till I make it. Maybe I never will make it, but they deserve to have a part of me and all I can do is try and mostly try not to feel guilty in those days when I can barely make it out of bed.

I am willing to talk any time you want.