Going backwards in the grieving process

[km1141]

Hi I'm a new member here. I recently lost my Dad in January and my Grandma (my Dad's mom) in March. At first I really struggled and struggled with their death but then I was actually doing better than I expected dealing with it. All of the sudden with Thanksgiving, Christmas, along with my Dad's birthday in between (December 6) and the one year anniversary of his passing (January 31) it seems like it's hitting me hard again and I'm really down and struggling with it again after having done so well to get through the year without them. Christmas shopping has been more difficult this year to do. When I see something my Dad would've loved I all of the sudden get really down. I just feel like I'm expected to be ok with it and not to be so down at this point of time. Thanks for this forum. It's a great way to express my thoughts and feelings. I just feel like I can't really discuss how I'm feeling with anybody else. When I try it seems like they're tired of hearing about it.

[MissuDad]

Hi

I think it must be normal strugging t this time of year, you see families getting together, everybody happy or at least pretending to be and you are more likely to be feeling empty and for the first time having to spend this period without someone you treasured the most.

They say the "firsts" are always the most difficult, at least for me it´s really being hard.

[Vivi]

Hi km1141, I am so sorry! I understand exactly what you are going through. The holidays are so difficult without your loved ones. My mom died in Jan. My birthday was two weeks after her death. It was devestating for me. Then Thanksgiving, my moms birthday was in Dec, & now the Christmas holidays. My mom & I always did everything together. I also find it difficult to shop. When I am in the store, I am always finding things that my mom would have enjoyed

having. Just know that you are not alone out there. There are many of us that feel exactly the way that you do. Wishing you some peace, & comfort. Take care.