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I lost my angel.


Acefire

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My daughter died 46 days ago at 5 months old. Currently I'm 23.

The pain is relentless and my life is falling apart. I see her face in everyone women I meet as I imagine my daughter growing up and becoming a woman. I feel empty and void. I am angry and bitter and have nothing but frustration with everyone in my life.

Tirelessly I feel driven to drink because the torment is unrelenting. I want to escape everything and I have lost all motivation. I constantly seek ways to distract myself that used to be pleasurefull. In my dreams I see her. When I wake I just wish I was still sleeping because the pain hits me all over again as I realize reality.

I feel lost and hopeless.

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Bummer I'm really low right now. Guess it's hard to find help on a grief site after all since millions of people die everyday.

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My daughter died 46 days ago at 5 months old. Currently I'm 23.

The pain is relentless and my life is falling apart. I see her face in everyone women I meet as I imagine my daughter growing up and becoming a woman. I feel empty and void. I am angry and bitter and have nothing but frustration with everyone in my life.

Tirelessly I feel driven to drink because the torment is unrelenting. I want to escape everything and I have lost all motivation. I constantly seek ways to distract myself that used to be pleasurefull. In my dreams I see her. When I wake I just wish I was still sleeping because the pain hits me all over again as I realize reality.

I feel lost and hopeless.

I lost my 12 yr old daughter on May 23rd 2013. I to have been bitter and angry. Then I was lost and hopeless. Your emotions will have a crazy range like a roller coaster.I still cry everyday and often wonder why I am here because no matter what I do, I will never be happy again. I've been told in time that feeling will ease but it sure dont feel like it now. I do sometimes get days that are not as bad as other but still cry everyday. Its hard for me to say who I am now because I feel worthless and lonely. I've found that sometimes the big outbursts of crying helps. I'm just praying things will slowly get better. You do have one thing I have not had but pray for, and thats dreams. We will find our way through this.. Just gonna take a lot of time and some tears..

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Acefire and Kirsty's mom...

 

I am so sorry for your losses.  It is so very hard...please share with us...whatever you want...doesn't matter because we all understand.  This journey is so very lonely, but I will help you, as I'm sure you will help me.  I will be praying fervently for you.

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I also lost my 5 year old daughter on a New Year's Day. It's really unfair to experience the pain. And someone who is so beautiful and innocent be taken away from you.

 

Every morning, I'd wake up calling my daughter's name. I don't care if people will think that I'm crazy. It's so painful to loose a child. When all your life, you wake up to hug her and kiss her and do everything for her so she'll enjoy the best things in life.

 

But fate... How come she'll have a cancer.. And why would God let it happen.

 

Each day is a struggle. Trying my best to be a good person. I'm bound to do so. Because my daughter, they said , she's now an angel. God can't wait to have her in His Kingdom. It should be true. As am willing to give up everything for her happiness. And suffering here on earth without her is a way of sharing the days she suffered because of cancer. Because of our lame healthcare in the Philippines. 

 

Am thankful there's a site where people can share their pains. It doesn't go away. But atleast not feeling alone in the dark at all times. Kylie is my world. Just like every parent, am scared to loose her And now I'm going through this pain. Every single time. 

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Bella's mommy

I'm sorry for you loss, Acefire. Of all the posts I came across in this forum it is with yours I got convinced to sign in.

I also lost my precious daughter at 5 months old, almost 5 months ago now. I had conceived her at age 23 and now I am 25, left only with her memories.

I too have lost motivation, will to live and understand perfectly how an endless sleep equates to mercy. However, God still wants me here.. and so I am.

 

I hope you don't mind me asking how your daughter was taken? I understand if it is too painful to speak of and apologize for asking if you get uncomfortable.

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franperrone

I lost my wonderful beautiful daughter Stephanie on April 4th. A big part of me must have died that day because all i thinking about is my little girl. I loved her so much. She was 21 and my youngest child. I am devastated. The pain I feel is so hard to explain. It is a guttural pain that is everpresent but gets worse at times. I am a mess. Why? How could this happen?   - fran

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Fran, so sorry for your loss. I know it's unfair and this is the dark place we don't want to be in. Have faith. There are no words that can ease your pain. But be strong. A mother is always strong for her child. Whether here on earth or in heaven.

 

Prayers to you,

 

Kylie's Mommy- Mommy Cherry

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No words can be said my family just buried our son 26 years old he died due to the number one killer of all our people we are lost my poor wife cannot think all she does is cry and he and her were like trick and frack . This Thursday we are attending a group any other words or suggestions and I am sorry you lost your angel gob bless all bill

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No words can be said my family just buried our son 26 years old he died due to the number one killer of all our people we are lost my poor wife cannot think all she does is cry and he and her were like trick and frack . This Thursday we are attending a group any other words or suggestions and I am sorry you lost your angel gob bless all bill

frick and frack
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