Members crisnwil Posted December 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 My mom died on the 8th from liver cirrhosis. Ive been having a hard time with her death. My boyfriend has never lost a loved one and isnt a very empathetic person and I know hes having a hard time understanding my emotions. Tonight, I got upset out of nowhere and began to feel very upset in general. He got upset after about ten minutes of it, because he said I'm being unfair to him. Should I expect more understanding or stop projecting my feelings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted December 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Crisnwil, You lost your mother on the 8th and your boyfriend says you aren't being fair to HIM? Wow. That's very selfish of him in my personal opinion. What does he expect? Does he have a relationship with his mother? If so, he should understand how you feel. Perhaps an article or two about the grieving process and losing a parent may help him develop some empathy. You can find support and empathy here. --ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tom Posted December 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 My mom died on the 8th from liver cirrhosis. Ive been having a hard time with her death. My boyfriend has never lost a loved one and isnt a very empathetic person and I know hes having a hard time understanding my emotions. Tonight, I got upset out of nowhere and began to feel very upset in general. He got upset after about ten minutes of it, because he said I'm being unfair to him. Should I expect more understanding or stop projecting my feelings?You should expect more understanding.I'm sorry to be so blunt, but your b/f is selfish, uncaring and immature.You need support, and may do so for a long time , as loosing a parent is a very traumatic experience which can last for many many months.You need to be around people who will give you understanding, care and supportYou may need a b/f for going out and socialising, but I would seriously consider whether you need someone like this particular b/f for any meaningful relationship.If he has to be TOLD how you feel ,do you really think he will understand - or want to ?Self-centred selfish people aren't 'empathetic' - because they only think about themselves.As I have found out myself, bereavement is often a way to find out how genuine your friends are - sometimes it's not a pleasant learning experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cindyjane Posted December 21, 2013 Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Hi NewbieI want to start by saying that I am very sorry for your loss. My mom passed away on October 6th and I am also going through a lot of emotions. I would like to think that others close to us would be more understanding but that isn't always the case. Some people don't know how to handle their own grief so wouldn't have a clue how to handle yours. I don't say that as an insult to your boyfriend. No-one knows what is in another person's heart. Maybe seeing you grieving is scary for him???? In any case, don't stuff your emotions for anyone. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crisnwil Posted December 21, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 I showed him some posts from this site regarding not giving advice on how I should grieve and he improved in that. But lately ive felt short tempered and irritiable on the days ive had a really hard time. We've gotten in a couple fights over it. It's adding stress on top of losing my mom and the holidays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crisnwil Posted December 21, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2013 Thank all of you for your understanding and support. Its been really hard losing my mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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