Keeping our loved one's memory alive

[backyarder1]

I hate the thought that everyone seems to just be forgetting that my husband ever existed. No one ever talks about him anymore. I mean, people still call me every now and then to check on me and make sure I am okay but my husband seems to just be slipping out of everyone's mind. I don't understand how they can all do that so easily. His family. His friends. So many people who said that Tom meant so much to them in life. And now, they act like he never even existed.

I am so jealous of people who have wedding videos or other movies of the loved one that they lost. I don't have anything like that. If I did, I think I would just play it non-stop in my house to not let him slip away.

It's just killing me to think that a man who lived his life in such a good way could so easily be forgotten.

But how do we keep the memory of our loved ones alive in the hearts of others? What can we do?

[Silvergirl61]

I talk about Dennis , I share pictures of him on special days. I have been told more than once that I need to stop wishing for him to be here, etc..and move on with my life. Maybe it just seems that way, because they were so much of our world..we find it hard to imagine it being different for anyone else that knew them. It has to be different, though. Many people avoid mentioning them for fear of causing us pain..and maybe that's all it is too. I think as time goes on, when you mention him , and the pain is not so deep and close to the surface..you will find that others are more willing to talk about them, too.

It has been a little longer for me..and it seems to be happening like that, anyway.

You'll find what's right for you..what helped in my case..was straight telling a few of my friends that i felt like a pariah among them now, and that if everyone kept avoiding the subject and acting like he never existed. I was going to just stop coming around, too....because he is always going to be part of me now..and I can't change , even if i wanted to.

[catz]

I too talk about Alex. Many people seem to avoid talking about him because they dont want to upset me but little do they realise that i WANT to talk about him and remember him. I think theyre scared of tears......and well, im sorry but tears are a part of the whole deal. It doesnt mean i dont want to talk about him, just that when i do im sad too cos i miss him. I post a song on Alex s FB page every Thursday (he passed on a Thursday).....sometimes its a song he loved, often its one that ive been listening to during the week. We had similar tastes musically, in fact he often used to say to me that hed been born a decade too late for the music he really loved, so even if its a song ive chosen for me, its usually one hed love too. Also on Alexs bday i posted up a slideshow i made for him and sang for him (which is REALLY something lol cos i havent sung in public for a VERY long time).His FB page is also there so that any of his friends can leave a message for him at any time too, and they often do, Its really nice to see people telling him about their lives and the changes theyre going thru. In any case, as SG has so eloquently put it, theyre a part of us, and as long as we remember them, theyre never really gone.

[catz]

double post