Are my symptoms a result of loss

[macmember]

My Father passed unexpectedly in January this year and although we were not that close we had a lot in common so many things are a reminder, but I do not see them as a negative.

Over the past few months I've become very short tempered, maybe this is a result of broke sleep, tension pains in my head and yawning a lot during the day. Although I’m tired at night, I often wake up at 02:30, then 05:30 and find it hard to get comfortable, even though there doesn’t seem to be anything I’m dwelling on. Conversations with people are hard work and I almost feel like I’m in an alternative world and cannot be bothered to engage.

Although I had a spate of head pains a few months after he died, I put this down to a mixture of having to take responsibility to help my Step Mum, work commitments and stress related to it all and did have to take some time off until the pains had subsided.

I become emotional inside when I think about him (yes I feel robbed) which I’m sure is normal but all in all I wasn’t expecting to feel this way or the wave this far down the line and was wondering if this is all normal.

Many thanks

Mark

[ModKonnie]

Mark,

First off, I'd like to say I am sorry about the loss of your father. What you are describing sounds familiar, but have you talked with your physician about the headaches? You need to rule out anything physical that may be causing your headaches, including high blood pressure, sinus issues, etc.

There are many natural ways to relieve stress and tension, including deep breathing, meditation, journaling and exercise. Have you tried any of them?

Overall, you sound as though you are experiencing normal grieving. Please reach out to others and talk to them about your feelings.

We will be here for you,

ModKonnie

[ForeverRemembered]

Hi Mark, I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I hope you are doing better and I just wanted to write to let you know that I am thinking about you! I do hope that you have gone to see a doctor about your headaches. Grieving can put our bodies in extreme overload.

Take Care and Hugs!

[macmember]

Thanks both of you.

Although I don’t feel myself I think I am slowly improving but what I’m trying to do is think about things when they pop into my head, rather than going and looking for things to think about. The pains are still there and sometimes I wonder what the triggers are, because they do seem random but maybe related to things I think hard on too much, I don’t really know.

I am bullish about going to the Doctors but know in my mind if and when the time comes to make that visit then it will be the right thing to do. I guess it’s somewhat a challenge to myself but to also see if just being around my Wife and Children is all the tonic I require, they can be a great sidetrack most of the time.

I know time can do a lot but not everything

[sogovia]

Hi Mark.

I am new to the site but i have had training in grief and bereavement and just wanted to pass on what i have learned. I didnt' know this but when i lost my dad back in 1980, i wasnt' that close to him although i did love him because he was my dad, but more close to my mother. Shortly after he died, i started getting aches and pains in my shoulder and down my left arm (my dad had a massive heart attack) I started to think that i was going to have one. I did the usually grieving i guess for him, crying, disbelief, numbness of it all. The physical symptoms i got was real but scary. I eventually went to my doctor who said it was tension.

When my then husband had a brain hemorrhage, for weeks after that, and actually months, i kept getting headaches on one side of my head. When my mom died of an aneurysm i thought i was going to die too from that very diagnosis.

It was only recently when i have been doing my course that in actual fact bereavement is so overwhelming that the stress and tension our bodies go through and the physical symptoms we can experience are very normal and that there is a particular gland just above the kidney's that activate and are triggered and this is a normal response to grief and it is very normal. I was gobsmacked by this information because i spent years with anxiety attacks because i didn't understand that this was normal and to combat this now knowing what it is, is to do some meditation, relaxation and mindfulness to bring the stress levels down.

By all means go to your doctor because i wouldn't want you to ignore symptoms but i hope this helps in some way and give you some sort of relief.

Take care

Sogovia