Members ~ocean~ Posted November 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2013 My partner and best friend who is a fisherman has been lost at sea for 17 days. I'm having great difficulty coping with the 'not knowing' what happened to him--My grief is overwhelming! The weather was horrible in the afternoon with high winds and heavy rain that lasted throughout the night. I'm still hoping for his safe return but considering the weather that day and night and how many days he's been adrift, if he wasn't washed overboard-- it's a struggle to 'be strong' when my mind's thinking of all sorts of things. Has anyone on this forum experienced losing a loved one in this manner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members obakesan Posted November 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2013 I hope you are with friends and or family.My best wishes for a good outcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ~ocean~ Posted November 12, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Very kind of you obakesan for responding--Thank you! I'm living in a foreign country and although I have a few friends here and my sister, who's in the states, I'm basically on my own to deal with this pain...It's a hard for most people to relate to. It's killing me not to know what happened to him. Everyday, I wake up and the first thing I think of is him, and that this horrible thing happened to him and what he could have gone through, or then again, just maybe, he's still surviving, so hope lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted November 12, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Ocean, I have not experienced losing a loved one in this manner, but I wanted to tell you we will send out positive prayers and support. Is your partner alone on a boat or are there others with him? Has anyone tracked down the boat? Is there anyone with you right now? Do you have family or close friends to lean on? We will be here---ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LHD Posted November 12, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 I really feel for you. Sending good wishes. My partner was missing in the mountains. It was horrific. Hoping for a positive outcome. All the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ~ocean~ Posted November 12, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Thank you LHD...Sounds like you have real insight of what I'm going through. It's overwhelming.Also, thank you to ModKonnie for your prayers. He was alone in an open 16 foot boat and no one has seen it. I live alone with my 2 dogs who are good company--Only family is my sister lives in the states but I have Magic Jack so, at least, I can phone her. I have one good friend here--Although she can't exactly relate, she's supportive, but I feel that some of my other friends are getting tired of me moaning and keeping their distance.Again, thanks to LHD and ModKonnie for your support during this difficult time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted November 12, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Ocean,Are search teams still out looking? Did your partner ever talk to you about this kind of scenario and what you should do?Are you a spiritual person? Would a spiritual group help at all right now?Just know you are not alone. We will be here. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingDaniel Posted November 12, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Ocean -I have not lost someone in the way that you are experiencing. I can imagine it must be very difficult. I do know how the mind can run wild with possible scenarios when someone you love is missing, and there seems to be little you can do to stop it. I pray for a positive outcome for you. Please let us know as things progress. I know everyone here in the group would send you their wishes and hopes for him to be found. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ~ocean~ Posted November 12, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2013 Hi MissingDaniel,I know you must have grief issues of your own that you're dealing with and I thank you for reaching out to me. Your compassion, understanding, and prayers are well appreciated. I'm still hoping for a positive outcome. Miracles do happen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Austykatie Posted November 13, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can relate to this as my fiance drowned on a river while snowmobiling in February. He hit a patch of open water that was not frozen and was swept under the ice pack. They searched for him the night of the accident and the next morning for 5 hours and then called off the search. His body was not recovered until the end of April when someone noticed him floating along the river when the ice thawed out. It's an extremely hard pain to endure not being able to talk to your loved one ever again or even know that they will be found and laid to rest. It's like you have relive the tragedy daily and it's so hard. I hope you find some comfort and support to this group. I came here almost 9 months ago and it really helped me. I feel like a lot of members are a huge part of my grief and have become an important part of my life. Bless you! ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeyJude Posted November 13, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 I cannot even imagine what you must be going through. In our younger years my husband would go out and I wouldn't know where he was and would totally freak out until he came home. I know what that is like and I couldn't hardly handle that let alone knowing he is lost at sea!!! I don't know how you do it. But then I guess you don't have any choice. I am praying for a miracle as I truly believe that miracles are possible. People have been lost at sea for long periods of time and then found, I hope that is your case.In the meantime stick around. There is a lot of compassion and great fellowship here on this forum. My prayers are with you,Judy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members obakesan Posted November 14, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2013 I'm living in a foreign country and so hope lives.That makes it harder. I'm in Finland from my native Australia. My wife (Finnish) died suddenly on a trip home to visit family. They don't speak English well nor I Finnish. My wife did speak English like a native speaker, so it didn't take her long to understand Australian ;-) Being here now is important for me, but every day is being alone. That has plusses and minuses. But here is where she is buried so for some reasons I must he here too.My best wishes you do not join our group and that he is found. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ~ocean~ Posted November 14, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2013 Austykatie: I am so sorry for your loss, too...How horrible it must be for you, as well! Having gone through a similar tragedy you have insight as to how I'm feeling. It's devastating not being able to say goodbye or as you say, not being able to talk to them ever again. I keep wondering what in heaven's name happened to him--He was a huge part of my very existence...I'm thankful for the beautiful memories I have of the times we shared together. Every time I look at what I used to think was the beautiful sea, (especially in the direction that he was last seen), I feel a crushing pain. So glad I found this forum...It makes me feel less alone in my grief. Bless you, and all the members of this group! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ~ocean~ Posted November 14, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2013 Hi Judy, Thank you for the comfort as you are going through your own terrible grief...I'm so sorry for your loss! I don't know how I'm getting through this, either. It just seems impossible that something so horrible could have happened to him--He was very near shore, when a friend of his saw him coming in, after when the bad weather hit--Only god knows what happened after that--He's a good seaman, so it's mind boggling! I helped his friend to do a charter yesterday--While it was nice to be on the sea, all I could do was think of him--Glad I could hide behind my sunglasses...I have found great compassion from the people on this forum. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Thanks, all! ocean x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ~ocean~ Posted November 14, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2013 That makes it harder. I'm in Finland from my native Australia. My wife (Finnish) died suddenly on a trip home to visit family. They don't speak English well nor I Finnish. My wife did speak English like a native speaker, so it didn't take her long to understand Australian ;-)Being here now is important for me, but every day is being alone. That has plusses and minuses. But here is where she is buried so for some reasons I must he here too.My best wishes you do not join our group and that he is found.It must be terribly hard for you to be in a foreign country, as well. I don't want to go back to the states as I feel close to him, here. Hard though, as we shared so much so the reminder is every where I look. Still find myself looking for him as I walk down the street, or where he worked, so lovingly, on his boat on the bay-side. He's restored it and painted it up so colorful and had only launched it 2 days before he went missing--I didn't even get a photo as I thought there would be 'time' for that. Little did I know how short our time was. Bless you for the comforting words to me during your own difficult time! xocean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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