Dad's 1 year coming up

[keiko]

I can't believe it's been a year. I heard and read that the one year mark is really hard for some people and it certainly has been the case for me. I read on another post that sometimes the year mark is actually harder than the time of death as it's finally sinking in - that they're gone - and I think that's the case for me. It feels like soooo much time has passed since I've heard my dad's voice and yet it's only been a year. I don't know it's like time passed, but my world has stood still for the last year. Yes, I've gone on with my life as best I could, but it hasn't felt quite the same since my dad died - it just seems to have lost some of its meaning or something. I can't even put my finger on it or find the words to describe what I'm feeling, but I get the feeling that here on this forum, some of you can understand what I am feeling without necessarily putting words behind it. I think what I'm also having a hard time with is that we finally decided to put our family home on the market for sale. We've analyzed this decision for the last year, and every time it's the most logical one to make for our family. But I guess it's also a mourning process...it's like my "home" is going to be gone forever too now. It just sucks really. I have a friend in town visiting and normally I'm so excited for her to visit, but this time I don't even feel like doing anything. I feel so alone and depressed. And of course missing my dad.

[dlionsfan901]

I am sorry about your loss. I just lost my father almost two months ago. I read your post and I know exactly what you mean without even having to have it explained to me. I'm 25-years old and I loved my dad so much. My family is very close and we all live in the same house. I struggle to get through each day and I always think of my father, which I presume you have done the last year. I cannot imagine what the one year mark will feel like? Try to keep busy as best as you can. I definitely could relate to when you said your life has moved on but feels as if something is missing. I feel like that everyday. I am currently in my first year of law school, and each day I go there and come home with an empty feeling inside. Talk to your family and be there for your mother. Just remember it's ok to acknowledge that you miss your father and you will always miss him. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Because people who don't know te pain cannot relate, and the people who do know the pain would never tell you to get over it or the pain will go away. I wish you well and God bless you and your family. I will pray for both of us tonight.

Sincerely,

Brian

[Lor1]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad in Summer 2012. I too was in limbo - the anniversary I was aware of but to me did not distinguish it from any other day - as you say afterwards life just feels a bit empty and different.

I don't blame you holding onto the house so long - for it was not a house but a home and link to your Dad and family. The finality of losing him and that I can imagine must be hard.

Not feeling like socialising is something I too have experienced - the Grief is not as raw in that I can function day to day but deep down there's a Dad shaped space and I find people often tire of hearing about it (in my case very quickly - within the first 3 weeks) which I found hard - it is a very lonely process.

I am 37 so not young yet I feel too young (daft as it sounds) to be a proper grown up - what was your Dad like? Love and thinking of you and glad of this forum - L