Today is his birthday and I'm so alone.

[andysgirl]

He would have been 38. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this day. People are writing all over his FB about toasting him today & a "big celebration" & all I can think of is that I'm alone. There is no one from his life that wants to share this day with me and I didn't do anything, they all just froze me out. I emailed his mother the other day just saying I was thinking about them & she wrote back saying thanks and she knew it was going to be a hard day for all of us. That's something I guess, but still. If there is some sort if big celebration happening with his friends (whom were never around) and family (who are going to the cottage where his ashes are) and they couldn't think of extending me an invite I'm going to be very hurt. I loved him, he loved me, chose me & I feel invisible. All I want is to be able to sit with him, talk to him and there is no where to go and do that except in my own head, I don't think I can do this. I'm a mess.

[HeyJude]

I feel for ya hon. Birthdays are hard. When I feel like I need to have a good talk with Jerry, I get his picture and I sit down on my bed and talk to him, just as if he were there. It has always helped me, if nothing else but to relieve some anxiety I may be having. I always end up sobbing but I really feel like he hears me.

Don't let the actions of others hurt you. Your guy is probably right there beside you anyway, he won't go to those celebrations!! I was married to my husband for 32 years, together for 34 yrs and you know, the remaining members of his family are doing the same thing to me. My husband's aunt and uncle were at the funeral for my sister-in-law and would you believe they didn't even come up to me and say a word?? This was 6 weeks after my husband died. His sister died. I couldn't believe it. I had those people in my home and cooked for them MANY times!! Some people just are not worth their weight, ya know it? Makes me sick...certainly not worth any energy on my part...screw um.

[MissingDaniel]

I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain you are feeling, but I know that no words will really do that. We "celebrated" Daniel's 40th about a month ago. It was a difficult day, but I decided to do something he would have enjoyed and we took a beach weekend.

All I can suggest is to try not to let his family's insensitivity and ignorance dictate what you do. Plan your own time of remembering and communing with him. Maybe go somewhere that was special to the 2 of you or do something that he loved. Maybe in that way you might somehow feel his presence, feel like you can talk to him. I hope you are able to find some comfort....

[widower2]

He would have been 38. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this day. People are writing all over his FB about toasting him today & a "big celebration" & all I can think of is that I'm alone. There is no one from his life that wants to share this day with me and I didn't do anything, they all just froze me out. I emailed his mother the other day just saying I was thinking about them & she wrote back saying thanks and she knew it was going to be a hard day for all of us. That's something I guess, but still. If there is some sort if big celebration happening with his friends (whom were never around) and family (who are going to the cottage where his ashes are) and they couldn't think of extending me an invite I'm going to be very hurt. I loved him, he loved me, chose me & I feel invisible. All I want is to be able to sit with him, talk to him and there is no where to go and do that except in my own head, I don't think I can do this. I'm a mess.

I'm so sorry. Her birthday is hard for me too, and nobody contacts me either (have gone through 2 of these now). I reached out to one of her kids last year on that day, who replied, but decided not to this year to see if that person would this year - no dice. I thought about emailing her closest friends about it (I believe I did that last year but can't recall offhand) - then realized most of them didn't bother to keep in touch and none of them have so much as emailed me in months, so didn't. Even her mother, who is a very nice person and we got along well, hasn't made any effort to keep in touch.

So I just remember her in my own way....I have a few of her clothes so I go through them a little, I look at pictures of us, try to remember better times etc. I hope you can do similar and most of all know he's with you yet in some way.

[needy]

Birthday is a hard one that is for sure, and don't get me started on the FB thing. What everyone is doing to you is not right, this is true. I think lots of us have experienced the shut out and it is extremely painful. Do you really want to go to the cottage? Remember what these people have done to you.

First few weeks of September were bad for me. I had to slow down let the emotions come in and let the old noodle readjust. Feeling much better now. You can do this. I know I have to get out there and start doing stuff. Try this week and didn't work so well, but now I know to go try other stuff. Maybe look up Meetups in the GTA area.

Big hugs to you!! Let me know if there is anything else I can do.

[Austykatie]

I am so sorry I am late on this..Big hugs to you! I am sure it was so very hard for you! I just looked at the calendar today and noticed Jim's birthday is on Thanksgiving this year! I can't even imagine what a horrible day it will be for our family! I don't want to celebrate anything I can tell you that right now! I have the alone feeling a lot lately! I hate it! I keep thinking OMG this month will be 8months since Jim's accident and I just cant imagine where the time went. Its very scary to me that I don't remember and frankly that the last time I heard him talk to me was that long ago. Here goes my rollercoaster! Hugs!