My Mom Forever my Angel 5/12/13

[ForeverMissing Mom]

Hi everyone, it has been a very difficult journey getting to where I am in life right now. I knew the day was coming as we all have our days but I did not know my mom's last day would be Mother's Day. The last time we spoke we left off on bad terms and if I knew that she was exiting this earth then I would of hugged her and said my goodbyes. I turned to an online community because im just not ready for counselors at college. Everything I do I think about her. From playing card games, listening to music, jokes, making phone calls and even heading around where she used to live. I am extremely grief stricken and I know it takes time to get passed such situations. I need help on getting throughout my day without breaking down. I only wish that she could just talk to me and answer some questions that I have. If just that it would ease my soul. I feel so lost without her, and Mother's Day will no longer be the same to me. any help?

[ForeverRemembered]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I also lost my mom on September 11, 2012. I know that the grieving process is different for everyone. You are going on about 5 months now and when I was at 5 months it was a very difficult time for me and I had a lot of support. If I may, I would like to urge you to seek any help you are offered. I know you may feel that you are not ready for the counselors at your college right now, but I felt the same way before I went to speak to someone. I have a caring and loving husband, and I posted on this sight for help, but I also believe that talking to someone one-on-one was very helpful to me. You may be surprised. My mom died right in front of me. She was struggling to breathe, for what felt like hours. My mind just kept replaying the day she died, over and over. I would break down and cry every time. I finally looked up someone in my area to go and talk too. I mainly talked and the guy just listened. However, he said the one thing that helped me really truly get through the time that I needed help on getting myself though the day without breaking down. He told me that the brain needs time to comprehend what had happened. Your mind will start to go through what happened and try to process it all. My mind just kept trying to figure out what happened. When those thoughts of my mom started to go through my mind, I would just say to myself over and over "I will give myself time to process this later, but I don't want to do it right now" and as silly as that sounds, it really helped me. Please, don't be afraid to confide in someone. Someone who will just listen to you. They may be able to tell you something that you can hang on to and it may help you. I can tell you that everyone grieves at different stages. It is so true. My dad, who I thought was so mean and just didn't seem to care that my mom died at all. He didn't start to really grieve until months after my mom died. Maybe God does this because it would have been so very hard for all of us to grieve the same way at the same time. By the time he started to grieve, I was able to help him. I can tell you that it has been a year now. It was very hard for me the weeks leading up to the year date of her death. However, once that date passed, I am feeling better. I don't have those daily break downs anymore. They still happen... but I am better now. Please continue to come to this sight whenever you just want to write down your feelings. We are all feeling your pain, when we read your post. We know. We have felt that pain many times. No one will judge you here. It does help just to write down your feelings. I will be thinking of you and I pray you find your moment of peace. It will come. Don't try to rush it by thinking you should be feeling better. It will come. However, if you have support of a one-on-one person, I urge you to take every bit of help that you can. It does help. HUGS!

[ForeverMissing Mom]

Thank you for your response. Yesterday I found out my mom's death was a homicide and its like this is turning out into everything I hoped it wouldn't be. after finding that out I realized that in my state of mind I cannot in any way keep focus on school. So with that I took a medical leave. I'm hoping I get some time to myself to think about things and be able to cope with it more head on. And with family around that does bring comfort. Feeling like im in the darkest of all places there is still a part of me that does not want to believe it. I know with this decision to leave college for a semester I do plan on taking the necessary steps by talking to someone. Usually when im feeling down I would call my mother. But the fact that is no longer an option its brings even more tears. Someday...Just someday

[dbedell30]

Hello everyone... my name is Debi and on August 28, 2013 I lost my mom. Yesterday made one month. It was unexpected and in my eyes, very violent and traumatic (for her). About two months ago she was hospitalized for about three days. We found out she had pneumonia. They treated and rehydrated her then sent her home. About a week later there was a horrible lighting storm, in which their house was hit two times with lightning and it burnt down. To the ground... and there is nothing left. All of the memories are gone, every memory. Three weeks later my dad called me at work and said I had to call 911 your mom called me and said she was having trouble breathing. Actually her exact words were " baby I need you, please come home. I`m having trouble breathing." When he got there EMS was inside and they wouldn`t let him in. For 45 minutes they did cpr on her, 45 minutes. They somehow brought her back and transported her to the nearest hospital. By the time I was able to get there they were still playing the waiting game. When the doc finally came in they told us considering she was without oxygen to the brain for 45 minutes, she had about a 25% chance of survival.25%. That had to have been the very worst news I`ve ever heard, ever in my life. When we finally got to go back and see her, she was unconscious and unresponsive. I`ve never seen my mom that way, ever. They told us they had to transport her downtown to a better equipped hospital. I thought it was a horrible idea, I didnt want to leave her at all. A lot can happen in that small window of time. When we got downown and were directed to the icu, we heard code blue, I had an eery feeling that it was her. And it was, 2 more times " cardiac arrest." She made it til approximately 6:45pm. We all sat with her and watched the life be sucked out of her body. I held her hand, I loved on her til I couldn't any longer. I was the last one to leave. I will never forget that day, I feel like I can take this pain to my grave. My heart is broken, it is so hard trying to live my life day after day without her in it. I do not have any brothers or sisters, my mom was my best friend. She was always there for me in the hardest of time, when I was down or frustrated or sick. She was always there. And now she is not. How does one go on and cope with the everyday issues of life, without their mom? Cause of death, " septic shock" "complications of pneumonia." Everything I do, everything I see, reminds me of her. Songs that come on the radio, tv programs, the trees, the water, the air we breathe... It`s really not fair. What is life, if the people you love and are dearest to you are not in it? I know she is better now and no longer sick but that reassurance isn`t helping me at all. How does one cope without their mom? How does life just go on? I need her now more than I have ever and she is not here...