My 2nd mama passed away

[heatherfriend7]

Three days ago I lost a lady that was like my second mother. Her family is having such a hard time dealing. I am as well but trying to help be the stable one to get everything organized. I lost my mother 10 years ago so I know how hard this is, however when I lost my mom I was in a numb state for about 6 months so I didn't really feel much emotionally. This time it's much different and the waves of grief are coming over me pretty intensely. She had liver failure and was waiting on a transplant but fell and bled internally. She was at the hospital two days in ICU and died. I don't like that I had to see her in her last state. People looks so different when they are dying. I didn't even know it was her in the bed when I went to see her, I had to double check with the nurses that I was in the right room. My 1st mama died from being murdered. I did not want to see her body so I always get to remember her the way she was. With my 2nd mama I feel kind of queezy thinking about her in her last state and although I want to forget it, that image is still there...I guess my brain is trying to process it. It's very hard and I didn't expect her to leave so soon. I only knew my 2nd mama for 5 years and I wished she would have been her longer. My daughter was very close to her and I am sad they only had 3 years together. It's really hard right now. How do I deal with this grief? I am 32 years old, go to college full time and have a 3 year old and a baby. I can't stop school but it's so hard to concentrate. How do I work through this?

[ModKonnie]

Heatherfriend7, I am very sorry about the loss of your 2mama. You deal by doing what you are doing--keep moving and keep talking about it. Cry your heart out and allow yourself to feel. Eventually, you will be able to replace the last pictures of her in your mind with good pictures. I watched my father die, and it was horrible. It took me awhile, but I was eventually able to concentrate on all the wonderful memories I have of him instead of the nightmare images of him. Talking about your 2mama is the best way to deal. Do you have a picture? Would you feel comfortable sharing? We will be here for you--ModKonnie