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Lost my 6 yr old son


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Friends have suggested I start a support group, so here i am. I still can't believe I'm here. I still feel like this is all a bad nightmare and my Isaac will come into my room to wake me up. I lost my son on 8/19/13. He was vacationing with my mom and step dad in Mexico for 5 weeks. The day they were suppose to return home. They were doing last minute shopping. They were on their way back to get ready to go to the airport when they were hit head on by another driver. I received the news at 12 pm that afternoon while i was finishing his room for him. His dad left first with his girlfriend, and i got there Sunday morning. My son was in a medically induced coma with a severe head injury. I arrived to Mexico City at 5 am and went straight to the hospital which was a 3 hour drive..You could imagine my horror when I got there and the doctor only gave him 5% chance of making it through the night with or without surgery. His dad and myself made the decision to go ahead with the surgery. He's heart stopped for 12 minutes but they were able to bring him back and continue with the surgery. Isaac made it through the surgery and we were very hopeful, the swelling had even dropped from 69 to 23 in a matter of minutes. we had our 30 min visit and left for the day praying hard and every minute.

When we got to the hospital the next day, the doctor told us that the swelling had increased overnight and he wasn't responding to the medication. We continued to pray and talk to Isaac, reading his favorite books, singing to him, asking him to please fight back, playing him video of ppl cheering for him during his baseball games. Wednesday morning, the doctors came to us and told him my son was brain dead..no brain activity! I was horrified. I couldn't believe it!! I didn't want to give up. We told the doctors to please do everything in their power to save him. Later that day, i was researching in the internet about ppl who had survived after being diagnosed as being "brain dead," It restored my hope and faith that he might be able to survive this because he was strong. I asked God to please give me a sign, anything that made me know that Isaac was ok and he would come back. The next morning..during my visit. I decided to wash Isaac's body while I sang to him, when suddenly when i ran the wipe down his leg he moved his foot. I was so happy, you couldn't believe tears of joy started to run down my face and it only got better from there. His legs and arms start moved. On Saturday, They told us Isaac had gotten a blood infection. On Sunday, they told us his infection was getting better but his heart was beating slow. we would have to wait and see what happened. My step dads daughter came for spiritual support. We sang, we shared wonderful memories. While we were praying a group of colorful clowns gathered around us and asked if they could pray with us.My son loved color. His favorite color was blue and rainbow. after 8 days of tears, anguish, fear, anger It was such a beautiful moment that I would like to think my son had something to do with that. My mom shared some stories about Isaac and one that stayed in mind was that at 6 yrs old my son was so impacted with seeing Jesus on the cross and His story that he was wanted to know so much about him. My mom said he asked to go to church. He would put money in all the offering baskets and would make a cross with everything he could find. They gave him bunny but unfortunately it passed away. They buried it but my son wanted to make sure they put a cross so God could find him. When they didn't my son got upset but then said "oh, it's ok. There's a cross on the roof of the house, God will find him. Because that story stuck to me. I decided it was my obligation to baptize my son. With help of my step sister we went to a church and asked if they could do an emergency baptism. It was time for our last visit of the day. His dad went first and I went second. On my last visit, I told my son..That i was very proud of him, that he was so brave and so strong. That I loved him very very much and that I we were not leaving until we walk out of that hospital hold hands. Then i prayed and I asked God with all my heart if it was in his will to take Isaac to be and angel in heaven then I would accept it but he could please please give me more time with my baby I would very thankful and forever in His debt. I gave my baby a long hug, kiss on his cheek, forehead, and hand told him i loved him again and left. At 4:40 am I received a call, they needed me in the hospital. When his dad got there, we walked upstairs to the ICU and the doctor let us know that our son had passed away. We brought him home and buried him 8/26/13. It was beautiful, over 300 people showed up to his service and funeral. I was so amazed by how many people my son had touched. As a mother it felt wonderful.

My son was a beautiful boy with a heart of gold. He was thoughtful, kind, caring, lovable. He hugged everyone and would never go to bed without giving me a kiss goodnight and telling me he loved me. He played with everyone no matter age. He shared and didn't mind giving away his things. He was this little ball of energy. He played baseball, soccer, and enjoyed swimming. He was embarrassed about when i asked for a hug or a kiss or when i called him "baby boo boo" in front of ppl. I would always tell him "baby, I don't want you to grow up, I want you to be my baby boo boo forever." He's response would be " mom, I'm always going to be your baby boo boo even when i'm a big boy like my dad" Now my baby is in heaven and i miss him so much. That's how I'm going to remember my son by the way he lived not by the tragedy that took him away from me..I feel like this pain will never go away. Time heals everything but in my case I feel like it's only getting harder. What I would do to be able to hug him, kiss him, hear his voice again. Will it ever get better?

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