The " timeline" it has been over a year so people seem to think it should be OVER

[CorrinaS]

I cannot even seem to conceive of how a timeline is even applicaplicable worst of all from my family my boy was only 16 and in the middle of all those milestones. Graduation.College how do you deal?

[justinlsmom]

I know what you mean, I lost my 19 years old son 1 year ago and people seem to think that know we are past the 1 year mark everything should be back to normal, and part of me is feeling the same way and I know its because of the pressure from other people around me. Society makes us feel that there is a time limit and in turn family and friends do the same thing. If you haven't lost a child you don't know what we go through, there is no time limit, there is just a lifetime of missing a part of you, sure you learn to function normally, or what people perceive as normal, when in fact you just learn to go day by day no longer a whole person. Part of me is angry that we are only given a year to mourn and then everybody expects us to be "normal" again, I hate it and I resent it, but I will cowtoe to it and pretend everything is "okay" because that is just how we are suppose to be, that is how society wants us to be, so they can feel better being around us.

[shorty16]

CarrinaS

We NEVER get over the death of our child, we learn to live without them.

My son, Brian also died at 16 on 6-19-2008.

It took along time for me to see the sunshine again. It took me a long time to forgive the other boys who caused my sons death.

The first 2 years of this journey are hell. Pure and simple. It is not until the 3rd year that you even being to see the world again.

Be kind to yourself. Try to find one thing each day that makes you smile. Just one. After a little while you may find 2 things that make you smile. That is how this journey goes. Very slow.

It has been 5 years for our family and we have begun to live again. But this life is so different than the one we had with Brian. Trying to find some light in your dark day is all that can be asked of you right now.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Julia's Mom]

Thank you all for sharing your frustration about the time line. I lost my 29 year old daughter 5 months ago and I too am finding that many assume that we are just moving on and can't wait to just chit chat about life. I am learning to again function more in the present, but there is a part of me that holds this very sacred space of her in my being and I carry her everywhere I go.

[kirasmom]

I can't agree enough with all of you. It has been 2 yrs and 2 months- and the rest of the world doesn't care one bit that my daughter lived and died. I have gone along with them, putting on that face everyday like I am supposed to be over everything- not anymore I'd rather be by myself. Kira's mom

[Dru]

I know that people out there mean well and try to be understanding and think they know just how we must feel having lost our child and that because (if) we have other children we will be ok after a year or so. How wrong can they be but how does one try to even explain just how it is - there are no words to express to anyone who have not lost a child, the pain and anguish of losing a part of ourselves, our precious child. I was told just last week by a " friend" that I should be ok because I have a partner who is so supportive and caring, and also that I could now transfer all my love for Broni to my other daughter. Can you believe that. I was so shocked and thought that this friend understood a little but to come out with something like that made me so angry and hurt and I could see that there was no idea or even an inkling of understanding there in my friends words. I could not love my other daughter any more than I already do for a start and to transfer my love I have for my Broni to her would be impossible and makes no sense. Could that friend not see that to try to do that would mean trying to cut Broni out of my life. Cutting out the wonderful 31 years that I shared with my Broni. Impossible - why would I want to do that. Much as the pain is so deep and devastating, the missing so cruel, I would never give up one minute of that 31 years that I had with my beautiful daughter Broni. My own sister who I love and thought would be there for me - also has no understanding, she told me to just get on with life, move on. That also shocked me coming from my own sister. So for me now facing others is with a face that does not reflect what is going on inside of me so if others don't "see" inside of me they then feel ok. - how wrong again but that is how it is in my life now. I also now feel better on my own in my own space where I dont need to put on another face and I am kind and gentle with myself while learning to bring Broni into my inner space where we can be together in a spiritual level, but it is a long hard journey as you all know. I hope what I have written makes sense because I am so full of tears and pain. Dru (Bronis' mom)

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