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What about me?


caw

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My 40 year old sister passed away today after a very quick second battle with cancer. I was at the hospital with my mom when she passed. As she passed I was holding her hand and comforting her.

7 hours later I feel very alone. Her friends and coworkers have given their focus to her husband of 9 years and their 5yo son. Others to my parents.

I realize I am being selfish ....but what about me? Does no one think I am struggling with the loss of my sister?

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Sorry to hear about the loss of your sister at what is still a young age. It must have been hard for you all to see her this way.

I can sort of relate to how you feel. My sister passed away ten weeks ago yesterday (aged 28) and a lot of the support and letters/cards where aimed at my parents and my sisters husband and child. I had my support from my friends that do not know the whole family and we supported each other as a family but I did still feel alone and that no one seemed majorly concerned with my loss.

I still even felt a little like this at the funeral because as her one sister fully blood related I was not even on the first row of seats because there was my dad his wife and kids on one front row and then my mum,her partner, my other sister (half), my nan and of course my sisters husband and daughter on the other front row. So all her other brothers and sister whether they be steps or halfs where at the front and me the only one thats grown up with her right from the start was not - but at the end of the day did it really matter where I sat it was just as awful.

I feel almost lost now because my dad remarried and has three children - as has my mum with 2 more children. So I sort of feel that they have their little families and I am a lone inbetweener now because before at least I had my sister but now I am the only thing left from my Mum and Dads marriage.

I hope you get the help and support that you need - I am sure no ones intentions are to make you feel unsupported they are just doing what they think best at a very hard time....and if you are anything like me you maybe putting a brave face on around others which I think makes them think well she doesn't need my help! which isn't true.

I cant give you much more advice regarding how to cope etc as 10 weeks on I am still finding my bearings - look after yourself as best as you can as I have definitely neglected myself lately!! Hope I haven't waffled too much just wanted to show you are not totally alone in your feelings.

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