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Today is was.....


Lostherwillawaysloveher

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Lostherwillawaysloveher

9-27-02 Married the love of my life, I lost her on 5-28-13. Today would be our 11 year mark together in marriage. It's funny that you never realize how many dates are important to be together untill you can't be with them. just in the short time since i've lost her I've been through her birthday her favorite holiday (4th of july) now our aniversary and shortly the birth of our youngest will be celebrated. It seems as if I spend a most of my time dreading the next important day I will not be ables to spend with her. sigh.......... I'm so tired, I know I will make it through all this I just don't know who I will be on the other side. I don't even recognize myself anymore.

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Hang in there hon. Any anniversary will be difficult for awhile, even the ones that didn't seem quite as significant before. You will make it through, and you will come out on the other side, still you, but changed in a remarkable and positive way, and you will be able to carry this with you as time goes on. The pain never goes away, but it does become much more bearable as time marches on, and you can find joy in other things in your life that will help alleviate the pain of this loss.

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Lostherwillawaysloveher

We took flowers to her this afternoon and my yuongest grabbed our hands and said a prayer. I was barely able to talk to my boy's or at all from hiding behind my sunglasses from the point we left to get flowers. It was very touching my son starting the prayer and I finished with some thoughts and memories.

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That is beautiful. It is very difficult visiting the grave, I went on our anniversary earlier this month and cried like a baby.

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From talking with family and friends who have been through this and have more time under their belt, the recurring point that keeps coming up is that once they were through all the anniversaries the first time, the next ones were easier. Everybody grieves and heals differently, but this is one area I hope is valid for me also, and may others here be so fortunate also.

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I hope that is true. Today would have been my husbands 58th birthday. It has been a really hard month.

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MissingDaniel

Anniversary and birthday to get through in the same month? Oh boy. Hope you got through the birthday alright. I'm dreading that milestone. Daniel would have been 40 in September.

Blessings to you...

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I think April will always be a tough month for me. Linda's birthday is the 10th, and birthdays are a big deal in her family. She passed away April 18th after 12 days in hospice and unresponsive. I celebrated her birthday by tying balloons to the foot of her bed, who knows how much a person in that condition knows about what is going on around them. It wasn't a sad event at the time, but it is now when I think about it.

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Every event is hard. I am just living day by day. I have nothing to look forward to. I hate this new life.

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mgilbertson

I agree every event is hard. The day he died is coming up so we've had all the first without him. His birthday and a lot of the holidays came so soon after that I was still pretty much in a state of disbelief and still am some days. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel on the next go around, I do feel like the leading up to, versus the actual day seems to be worse foe me. Anyway I hate everything about this new life I've been forced to live!!

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