venting

[suntrust]

Sometimes it is even difficult to talk about anything with family as well. Grief is such a strange experience. its as if anything that i might have handled well before in personal relationships went out the window, and forget anything that I didn't handle well before.

Its such a roller coaster still. I could mostly plug along in my own way and then, sometimes out of nowhere or out of somewhere as my mom is concerned, she will wallop me a good one after I explain to her some of my thoughts and feelings. i always seem to think it is better to share than to not share especially with my family, but than almost every time it is like setting myself up for some kind of weird emotional guilt trip with some anger and outrage to go along with it.

The thing is , is I think she is trying to help, but I think that help isn't good when someone tries to point out my issues that I am already struggling with on top of grief and pain that sometimes make me wallow in things a bit longer than I should. I

I kinda wish people had more patience, and quietness within them.

Sorry so vague.

Thanks

[Guest]

I heard that. Its a lovely catch 22 isn't it.

[widower2]

Sorry to hear your family is being so insensitive/clueless. Given that, I'd be inclined to just say "I'm fine" and not tell them anything. Seek that confidence elsewhere - a friend, maybe a counselor etc.

[needy]

Suntrust, I agree with W2. My extended family wasn't always helpful in my recovery as well. But people are people and they will do the outmost stupid things sometimes. Now you know, forgive and move on. It is kinda tricky finding that special person to talk to. Remember we are always there for you.

[catz]

ive found i talk to my fiances mother(tho thats usually only once a week as they live in a different part of the country) and my councellor. Everyone else is kinda freaked out by my need to talk about it. In fact my best friend admitted to me the other day that she had even thought "cant she just get over it" but then explained that that was cos she hated seeing me so upset. Its not usually like me to be so devastated, im usually the "strong" one, and take bad stuff philosphically. I had to gently explain to her that this was going to take a long time, and that i wasnt angry at her for thinking that, and that i knew where it came from, but that i had to heal in my way, and at my speed, and while i didnt like hurting any more than she did watching it, it had to happen. People often say stupid stuff when they dont know how to help, and very few people know how to help unless theyve been there. All the best dealing with your family.