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3 months ago today


Meaghan88

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I lost my boyfriend exactly 3 months ago. I came home from work on a Sunday with the sunflower seeds he had asked me to get for him and found him covered in blood on the couch. He had been drinking and accidently shot himself in the neck. I can never get this image of his face and touching him out of my head. It doesn't matter if I think of the good times I've had with him or this one bad time, I'm still upset that he's not here. I'm 25, he was only 32. We had the rest of our lives to get married and have children. We lived together for 16 months and had been togetherfor just 22 months. We moved quickly but we both knew that we were soulmates. This will never get easier... I don't want to hear another person tell me that it will get better with time. Everything that will ever happen in my life, I will think, "How could this have been if Will was still here?" My future scares the sh*t out of me now that Will is not in it...

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I wish you the best - I know for me life gets easier as time goes on. Perhaps someday you will find pace.

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I am so sorry to hear of this- how awful for you to have found him that way. Peace and blessings to you in this very difficult time.

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Thanks... I'm still at the point where I feel completely hopeless. I just had a bad weekend in which we celebrated our favorite holiday, 4th of July, with his father and neighbors, then we put his house up for sale on Friday, I've just been an emotional mess since. Today I also transferred the title of his car to myself and almost had a breakdown in the middle of the DMV. I want to feel that one day this will get better but I just don't believe it right now. And I don't feel that anyone will ever be able to help me, including my psychiatrist and therapist.

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I also found my husband, and those images, me giving him CPR, the paramedic's working on him on the living room floor ect.....it had been my worst fear for many years and there I was living it.

Don't worry about spazzing at the DMV....I cry where ever and whenever an that included triple A when I had to switch the vehicle titles.

Everytime I had to get a bill put into my name....calling repairmen...... grocery shopping cause I don't put his stuff in the cart anymore.

It seem's it's normal for now.

Just know you aren't alone in this!

Blessing's and big hugs!!!!!

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