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Loss of both parents


blueskylange

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blueskylange

I'm a 25 yr old male, I just lost both my parents in an accident. I've been secretly struggling with my sexuality for a long time. A day before the accident, I'd arranged for sex with another male. I got the news of the accident before we were going to sleep together. This seemed too peculiar to be just a co-incidence, and I feel a deep sense of guilt because it seems to me that this happened so that I could be punished for my deed. I've a sister, but I'm not close with her. I feel totally alone and lost, and am on the verge of harming myself. The worst part is, I can't even share these feelings with anyone.

I'd be very glad, if someone here could advise me.

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Daddy's Girl

Hi Blue,

I'm very sorry for your loss. I couldn't possibly imagine what you're going through. I just lost one parent to cancer, the other one has it as well... I don't even want to imagine.

Do not, under any circumstances, feel guilty for your sexual preference! Do not. The fact that you received the news before engaging in any sexual activity is not a punishment, is not a sin, is not anything like that. Your sexual preference it's just that: it doesn't change who you are or the extent to which you love your parents. You were not responsible for their accident, there is nothing you could have done, unfortunately. Please, don't think that harming yourself will improve anything. Think that if your parents lived, they would love you unconditionally and would want you to be happy. Yes, in the end, they accept it. I've been there too. But I'm a different kind of person, I do not live my life by other's standards.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

Best wishes,

Ana

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dear blue..

pls dont even think about harming yourself. your mum n dad's accident don't have anything to do with you...God's way of working in our life is different. i just lost my mum..7 months back. and i keep questioning myself why it has to happen just 8 days after my baby gal was born. my mum didn't even hold her bcos i am working away from my hometown n she was supposed to reached on the day she died. its so difficult for me till today...the big hole in my heart is difficult to mend.

regarding your sexuality...we in india are still taking times to except it. but you know blue with times we will except that it was not by choice tat you have liking of the same sex. its nature's way of working. give sometime to urself..join a gym,hobby classes etc. you are only 25yrs old blue...life is ahead of you. you may meet someone again...who you felt is your life partner. it is happening now in our city. so just be chill...cry out loudly sometimes...listen to your sister sometimes. u both need each other at such a difficult time.pray to God for strength :rolleyes:

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