Members Lester Posted June 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Well glad to report I have met a nice lady. No idea where this is going if anywhere, anyway the problem......Nothing much has happened but felt obliged to talk to kids in my time honoured Dad awkward way, Didn't go well. Views expressed varied from thats great with tears to don't want to know or meet her and instructed that no funny stuff will be going on in family home. Kids grown up by the way.Seem to be in a bizarre reverse teenage situation. Having said that there has only ever been mum and dad for them. I think I remember a time before their mum but only just and in black and white. This stuff isn't easy but will keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LizzyW Posted June 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 No, it isn't easy at all. I'm sorry for your kids' reactions, but not really surprised. It seems pretty common to feel conflicted about what you perceive as someone trying to fill a deceased parents' role. I would personally just try and take things slow and easy, and let the presence of another woman gradually happen, so that they can maybe adapt a little easier. Good luck and best wishes for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members needy Posted June 25, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2013 Congrats!! I agree with Lizzy's statement, take it really slow. I did have a smile on my face when I read you feel like your going through a reverse teenage situation. Pretty sure my kids will do the same to me if I ever start to date again. Is it a good thing?? Not too sure. On the other side of the coin my sister, brother and I never spoke up when my father married the evil antichrist he did. Oops did I say that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LizzyW Posted June 26, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 26, 2013 Congrats!! I agree with Lizzy's statement, take it really slow. I did have a smile on my face when I read you feel like your going through a reverse teenage situation. Pretty sure my kids will do the same to me if I ever start to date again. Is it a good thing?? Not too sure. On the other side of the coin my sister, brother and I never spoke up when my father married the evil antichrist he did. Oops did I say that!!Haha- I remember a few weeks after my dad died, I was spending the day with my mom, as I do every two weeks. I approached the subject with her, not having any idea how she would feel about it. I told her that if she (in the future) wanted to remarry, that I could accept that, but I asked her to please wait for at least a year, until most of the shock has worn off. Her response was that she sure as heck wasn't interested, lol. My mom is a stronger woman than I had ever imagined her to be. As for me, another serious relationship is the last thing on my mind. Who knows what will happen down the road? I can't imagine ever being married or seriously involved again at this point in my life. I had an excellent husband, and it would be a pretty big stick to measure up to. I don't know that I could ever find someone who loved me as much as he did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lester Posted June 27, 2013 Author Members Report Share Posted June 27, 2013 Evil antichrist eh......I'l try to look out for any obvious signs. Has been pointed out to me I am not the most observant person though. I had to be taken to one side by a lady friend to point out there was some interest in me from others. It hadn't even dawned and apparently it was being spelt out to me.Time is something I have in abundance and I mean to use it. Had a couple of issues this week which has reminded me of the darker days and was a useful reminder that I still have a long long way to go. I do want to keep moving forward though but one step and all that. I accept I need to retrace a few sometimes.Yes I still cry a bit most days but the absolute grief sessions are less but not gone. I want to feel good about some things and I know that my wife would have pushed me forward as fast as she could. It's an odd feeling liking someone else while still grieving but I have to say nice. Simple as that really. I am also keeping it very much in perspective.Fear not folks, its all very innocent but great to talk to someone and occasionally hold hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LizzyW Posted June 27, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 27, 2013 Fear not folks, its all very innocent but great to talk to someone and occasionally hold hands.My thoughts were not meant as any criticism- just an observation to keep it slow and steady, so as to avoid regrets later down the road. Best wishes to you, and I am glad to see that you are moving forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members naty0123 Posted July 1, 2013 Members Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Hello Lester, i too have a friend and i have kept it very hush hush..but i am on the phn..and my daughter chimes in...so i explained to her that i have a friend and it did not turn good at all..im not ever looking to replace my husband but it is nice to have a friend..so i have decided to continue to keep it a secret and let my girls heal and me heal more too..i still cry all the time..but he is cool and i get to express my feelings all the time so its been good for me. Everyone is different in this situation of being a widow..take it slow and its ok to have a friend..i feel a little alive not a lot. But hang in there this widow thing is so new and most people i know dont get it!! .[quote name=LizzyW' timestamp='1372339477' post='101253]My thoughts were not meant as any criticism- just an observation to keep it slow and steady, so as to avoid regrets later down the road. Best wishes to you, and I am glad to see that you are moving forward. :)/> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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