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How does one go on?


relyt1990

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My 22 year old son went to heaven on March 24, 2013. Skateboard accident that resulted in severe head injury. The pain is so constant and intense and I'm afraid that my grieve is so deep that I cannot give my husband and remaining children the wife and mother they need and deserve. How do you move on. I mean really move on.....I get up, shower, dress, drive, clean, talk, but I'm not really in the moment. HOW DOES ONE MOVE ON?

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It takes a while. Allow yourself to grieve. Surround yourself with a support group of women that can love on you and pray for you. One day at a time. You will begin to find beauty in the simple things again. Allow yourself also to walk away from your grief for a little awhile and enjoy life and your family. Try not to push them away. I'ts so hard, I know. Praying for you.

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First am so sorry to hear of the passing of your precious son. It was 2 years ago on June 19 that I lost my 17 year old daughter very suddenly too. I still pretty much do what you do, shower, drive, clean, etc. - You just go through the moitions. You just survive, you don't really live. There are 2 things that have pulled me through (although just barely)- one is I think of my husband and especially my 2 remaining children (in thier early 20's) who even at that age still need thier mom and the 2nd I only live one day at a time, unless there is something to prepare for, I don't go past a day- if I can't do a day, than I'll do an hour or even 10 minutes, but i don't wander past that time frame. It's like if you shine a flash light down on you feet- that small area- the realm of the light - is all you can do, as you get stronger shine the flash light a little further out as you can handle more. Hope this helps- feel free to e-mail me any time. Kirs'a mom

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NeverAndAlways

I am so sorry...that is not a grief you get over. But you can get better at coping with it. But it's going to take a very long time. Three months is hardly any time at all sweetie. Please be patient with yourself and give yourself the space and time and forgiveness you need to grieve and cope. You will never give your family the same person because you won't be the same person anymore. I still beat myself up about being the best i can for those who still rely on me...but they truly have learned to rely on me less. And that's good...because if I was all they had to rely on, they would be as lost as I am. Let yourself lean on someone else...a friend, a counselor, a pastor, family...because if no one is helping you stand, how can anyone possibly lean on you? Again, I'm so sorry...your life before is gone and it's a completely different kind of existence now. Just survive and relearn how to do all the things that used to be easy...everything will be harder, but you will get stronger in time...even in spite of yourself. Thoughts are with you...N&A

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Jesse David & Taylor Mom

I am so sorry for your loss rely...please know there are many caring parents here that are willing to hold your hand during these dark days. Usually I post in the Loss of an Adult Child, where many will post on a regular basis...

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I so relate I lost my 17 year old son to cystic fibrosis this past April. I see the world going on around me but don't really think I can relate to them. I have pulled back and isolated more than I have ever have. I used to be the one inviting people to my church and now I have not gone back since. Someone did tell me after I asked them how do you go on? He said sometimes you can't afford to go down memory lane for too long when the pain is so fresh and raw. Because the grieving process is so exhausting you do need to do it in layers.

Jena

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