feeling like no one understands

[patsyl]

The Love of My life and husband Clayton of 23 years died almost 7 months ago. Clayton was working out of town I had talked to him just a couple of hours before he sound good not like someone who was going to have a heart attack and in a few hours no longer be here with me. I feel so many things alone, lonely, anger, like I cant go on anymore which is not an option I have a 20 year old daughter and a mother that mean more to me then life its self so I have to go on for them. Clayton would want me to be happy but I just don't ever see that happening. I move one foot forward and then three back. I think Im finding a new normal and then I feel like I did the day he died but after reading here I guess this is all normal. I so glad I found this site I have friends and family who have lost there husbands but everyone just keeps telling me it takes time and I know this but I just feel like they want me to hurry up and move on. Thank You All for all your post just knowing some of you are feeling the same things I am has helped me so much. I am so sorry that you or anyone has to go on this roller coaster ride.

[gambitjr]

Patsy,

There isn't any time limit on grieving. There isn't any rule book or directions. We each move through it on our own path and in our own way. People who say or think that we should move on, in my opinion, have never really grieved. I totally understand how you feel, and I am also glad that you have found some solid ground. If you miss your husband, then you miss him. Doesn't matter how recent or how long ago. Love is love, and it never ends. Pain is pain, and we will carry it forever. Maybe those friends haven't been blessed to love as deep as you did. That would explain their ability to move on quickly, but it was their path to take. Take yours as it comes and as fast or as slow you as want. It is painful but also good to remember. It is also good to share your feelings with your family. What you don't want to do is punish yourself, as some find this as a way to comfort. They feel they deserve to feel bad, but they really don't. Just because you learn to smile at your daughter doesn't mean any less respect for your husband. Grieve you way, in your time, at your pace. You will get through it, we all do somehow, someway. Might not be a bad idea to seek out a support group, as sharing helps in the process.

Hope this helps a little,

God Bless,

Al

[Lostherwillawaysloveher]

. Thank You All for all your post just knowing some of you are feeling the same things I am has helped me so much. I am so sorry that you or anyone has to go on this roller coaster ride.

Amen, the people here have kept the rest of my family "alive" not just existing. in the last couple of day's. really got perspective and comfort in reading the stories that are different yet the same. We are hurting, yet we are trudging forward keeping our chins up for the rest.

[Caremal]

Pasyl what you are experiencing is completely NORMAL. You are not alone in your pain and loss of your husband. Everyone walks a different path in the grief process. If or WHEN you wish to move it will be ok. He would not want you to pine over him for the rest of your life. That does not mean you do not or will not miss him forever. Time helps us to deal with the loss in a different way, the pain seams to be easier to deal with. Hang in there everyone it will get easier and we all find that new person inside us.