Sudden Overwhelming Grief

[Emsy75]

I lost my Mum to cancer on Feb 4th of this year. She battled for over 6 months but it eventually took her life. I wasn't very close with her in my adult years, living away from Australia and having very different personalities.

Now that she's gone, I find that I am surprised almost by the grief I have. Because in my view we weren't so close anymore, I didn't think it would be such a strong feeling. But every day, when I think of her; when I remember a past experience or think of an experience she won't be able to share with me, this sudden overwhelming grief takes me over.

Do I not know myself as well as I think I do? Just bc we weren't close in proximity or talking everyday - perhaps that doesn't mean a thing? That it's spiritual connection that matters and that never loses strength?

I'm so sad that she's gone! I am so sad that she's not there on the end of the telephone. She's not there to tell me about her garden or improvements on her house. Am I not processing the grief as I should? I feel the pain, I don't deny it. That's the main point I think?

I wonder if she can hear me and feel me in Heaven? I feel that she can.

I wonder if anyone else has had these same feelilngs??

[dsmurph]

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mother. I think everything you feel is part of your grief and ok. We all grieve in our own way. I know Emily still sees us. I know she is all around us. Your mom will always be watching over you. That spiritual bond will always be there. Hugs

[JanetFl]

Hi Emsy,

We have a lot in common...

Yeh, there certainly is a lot of guilt when you are overseas. I too am an x-ozzie, and my father died in January, 2012. I too was surprised by the strength of the grief that overwhelmed me as I wasn't close with my father either.

All I could do was let it come and not fight it. First it was constant, then it came in waves, and now it just sits there because I'm still not ready to finish with it, but when I am I will.

I wish I was there for my mother now, and feel a lot of guilt about that still.

If you close your eyes, you'll feel a hug coming your way. It will be there whenever one is needed too!

Take care,

Janet