Members ailz Posted June 2, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2013 Hi,A year last February (28th), my mother passed away unexpectedly at the age of 57. I am only 23.She was taken into hospital and emergency surgery was performed... they thought she had an ulcer, appendicitis- she didn't- she had perforation in her bowel. She had 3 operations in total each time getting weaker and still they never correctly diagnosed her.If only they had realised this- she had had problems with her bowel for a long time, but the treatment they gave her was never correct.It still pains me to think if they had done the correct operation she would still be here now.I just remember seeing her in the ICU with a ventilator, looking so scared and upset. My dad was telling her she would get better and get out of hospital to see our dog and wind him up like she always did.They told us there was nothing more they could do, and they slowly took her off all the ventilation and IV lines. I constantly think she passed away alone... I couldn't face seeing her die... My dad and brother saw her the day before but it was too much for them... me and my sister just couldn't go. I do regret not being there... I should have been there when she left us.My dad still isn't coping well, making himself ill with the upset still.It feels very weird still that she isn't with us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissuDad Posted June 2, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2013 Hi Ailz, I can totally understand you. My dad was also very and seeing him was like a stab in the heart... I couldn´t go very often... Parents know we care even when we´re not around. You shouldn´t be so hard on yourself (easier sad than done), but it´s the truth If you feel the need you could have an appointment with a grief therapist, it helps. Hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members immissingyou Posted June 3, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 3, 2013 Oh that stinks. Realize however that you have to move forward by forgiving yourself for not being there. At that point in time, it wasn't right for you and I have no doubt that your mom is at total peace with your decision and understands. Hugs to your dad - so very hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KGJ Posted June 4, 2013 Members Report Share Posted June 4, 2013 Losing a parent (for me, at least) is like losing an arm or a leg. It takes a lot of time to get used to living without that vital part of yourself. TIme doesn't heal all wounds, but it does teach us how to live with them.I hope your dad starts doing better, and that your family is staying by each other for support. A good support system is what will get you all through this. I'm not one for praying, but I do wish the best for you and your family.With Care -- Kaycie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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